This episode is your mid-year reset, late bloomer style. Whether you’ve been dating with no luck, stuck in swipe fatigue, or haven’t dated in 15 years, this seven-step feminist dating plan is your guide to attracting the best relationship of your life.

In this replay of one of our most popular trainings, you’ll learn:

✨ How to create your Essence-Based Preferences to vet potential dates

✨ The IRL dating plan that actually works (even if you’re socially anxious)

✨ What to say on dating apps and how to write a profile that’s magnetic AF

✨ And why what you want isn’t too much—it’s the key to finding the right match

Download the free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: datebrazen.com/workbook

Get the book, “Thank You More Please”: datebrazen.com/book

Learn how to work with Lily: datebrazen.com

Let’s connect:

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You’ve got this—and I’ve got your back.

Show transcript:

Lily @ Date Brazen (00:00.29)

Hey gorgeous friends, welcome to another episode of the Date Brazen podcast. I’m so glad that you’re here. Today on this episode, I am going to help you create your 2025 dating plan so that you can have a joyful as fuck dating life that makes the right relationship inevitable. In this episode, I’m gonna give you exactly what to do step by step by step. There are seven steps in total to your 2025 dating plan and I can’t wait to share them with you.

For each of these steps, I’m also giving you a deep dive podcast episode that I have already recorded so that you can create DIY your comprehensive 2025 dating plan. And if you want help with this, if you my help with this to help you create a custom version of this plan, then you need to get your butt to my live training tonight on December 10th, 2024, called the Late Bloomer’s Guide to a Confident Holiday Season. It’s going to be so, so fun.

and you’re gonna walk away with your comprehensive dating plan for 2025. And this episode is your DIY guide, right? I love a DIY guide and I’m gonna outline it for you in this episode. So let’s get into it.

Lily @ Date Brazen (01:15.758)

Hey, I’m Lily Wonville, former top matchmaker and founder of Date Brazen. After setting up hundreds, I realized that with coaching, women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could. With my unconventional feminist approach, I’ve helped women around the world build courageous and self-trust-filled love lives, and now I’m here to support you. Get ready, because I’m about to share the exact steps you need to attract a soul-quenching partnership and feel amazing about yourself along the way. This is the Date Brazen podcast.

Like I said, there are seven steps to this comprehensive 2025 dating plan. And the intention of this plan is that you can walk into this next year feeling confident as hell in who you are, what you want, confident as hell in your ability to ask for it and attract it with more ease than you thought possible. I am not about the dumb dating rules that are having you playing small and shrinking your wants and believing that you’re too much or not enough.

I’m about helping you take up as much space as humanly possible. I’m about you boldly asking for more, shooting your shot unapologetically. And this plan is gonna help you do just that to become a magnet to the right kind of dates and the right kind of relationship for you. The first thing you need to start doing this plan is your notes app open or a piece of paper and a pen. Get ready to take notes. I am serious about your 2025 dating plan because what you want is possible.

It is possible, no matter your age, no matter your level of experience, whether you’ve been in zero romantic relationships or 50 romantic relationships, I don’t care. This plan is gonna work for you. And what you want is possible. I believe that your desire for more in your love life gets to be evidence that it exists.

like the Wright brothers. They didn’t know that a plane could fly. They were just like, I have this desire. I’m gonna go after it. I’m gonna make it exist. Their desire was evidence that it existed. Very similar to what I know to be true after coaching hundreds of people around the world, just like you. Your desire is evidence that it exists. This current state that you’re in right now, maybe you’re single and you’re feeling lonely or you’re single and you’re feeling great about it and you still want the right relationship.

Lily @ Date Brazen (03:25.432)

Whatever the case is, life is gonna change. And you are in more control of how your life goes in your love life than you think you are. We’re not in control of everything. I know that. Unfortunately, I love control. Both and, this plan is gonna put you in the driver’s seat instead of being a passenger in the back complaining about how it’s going, or instead of being an anxious passenger side passenger.

We’re gonna get you out of those two spots and into the driver’s seat of finding the right relationship. Again, no matter your age or level of experience, I’ve got you. So step number one in this seven step plan is to claim what you want. Plain and simple, what’s your why? Why are you dating? So many people that I run into are afraid to ask for what they want for fear that it doesn’t exist. So just for this moment, suspend your disbelief. And for this moment, you and me,

What do you want? Why do you want to be dating? What is your hope for your dating life, your desire? Let’s let that desire for what you want take up more space just for this moment than the worry or fear that it’s not gonna happen. Claim what you want without apology. So what happens when I ask people this question generally is they say like a very small like, I don’t know, I think I want to find…

you know, somebody nice to hang out with and ultimately like the right partner, maybe like, maybe it’s too late, but maybe build a family or maybe, you know, travel the world. I know, and I stopped them and I said, okay, cool. Great draft one, draft two, I want you to unapologetically state in a sentence what you want, period. And then they get a little nervous and flustered and I say, it’s okay to be nervous.

I just want you to say it out loud with as much confidence as you can muster so that your brain can start to hear your desire out loud. Yeah? Because you have a desire and you your fear-based, you know, protective survival mechanisms brain is maybe engaging in like some self-protective like, it’s not possible, maybe it’s too late for you, we better lower our expectations now, otherwise we’re going to be so disappointed, right?

Lily @ Date Brazen (05:41.186)

That’s, you know, that’s stressful. So be compassionate toward that voice, just trying to protect you. Okay, so the draft two can be, I want to find the right relationship with a partner who adores me. I want to get married to the right partner. Or I want to build a life side by side with a partner who feels like an improv show every single day together. State what you want out loud. That’s step number one. Write it down.

Write down what you want on paper, on your phone, on paper, say it out loud. I dare you to get a bonus point from me, say it to a friend. I want X in my love life. It doesn’t mean that you’re less whole right now. It doesn’t mean that you’re broken. It doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with you for not having found it yet. It just means that you want something that’s not here yet, how human of you. Step number two in this seven step 2025 dating plan is to claim all of your essence based

preferences and for that you can listen to episode 135 of the date brazen podcast or You can go buy my book and there’s a comprehensive process inside the book to crafting and claiming your essence based preferences Essence based preferences if you haven’t been listening to the podcast for very long. Here’s a little refresher It is the essence of what you desire. Okay, so instead of a rigid checklist, which I call over functioning That’s where you say I need somebody with this exact height this exact degree this exact salary

that rigidity is over-functioning in the face of fear that what you want doesn’t exist or in the face of fear of settling. So you over-function, rigidity, checklist energy. That is going to get you on good on paper dates and good on paper relationships that don’t feel good on the inside. Over-functioning. On the other end, we have under-functioning. Under-functioning is someone nice with a job, just somebody kind and funny, right? You’re wanting too little because of scarcity.

because of fear that what you want doesn’t exist. These two poles of response are very normal, natural human responses to wanting something and it not being here yet. And I’m asking you to come in the middle to an effective plan to attract what you want, to be open to being surprised by the right people and to be very firm in your preferences and boundaries. They’re called essence-based preferences, which means defining how you want to feel with each of the personality traits you want, values that you want.

Lily @ Date Brazen (08:06.013)

and logistical preferences that you want. For example, if you want somebody 5’11 and above, I say, great, well, what do you want? How do you hope that someone 5’11 and above makes you feel? You might say something like, I wanna feel attracted. I wanna feel like they’re confident, like they’re walking in the room with this like energy of this large, like warm energy that could give you a hug that envelops you. And I would stop you and say, great, awesome.

That’s the essence of what you want with your height preference. So now you have the language to describe how you want to feel with the right person. And you know that sometimes it comes with someone 5’11”, and I’d ask you, have you ever met anyone who is below 5’11”, or above 5’11”, or whatever, who makes you feel that way? Inevitably your answer would be, yeah, I have met a couple people who made me feel that way, who weren’t that exact height. And I’d say, great. So now you know where to start, 5’11”, and you have the language to be open to being surprised by the right person.

With your values and personality traits, this process that I take you through in episode 135 and in my book, Thank You More, Please, is about brain dumping every personality trait and value that you want on a piece of paper and defining, coming into your root words, okay? So when I ask you all these questions in episode 135 and in my book, it’s getting from like kind, smart to, okay, what does kind mean to you? What does that feel like? What does somebody who-

who is kind value, what do they do in their free time? Like paint the picture for me because kind to you and kind to me are very different. So once you paint this picture of what kind means, you’ll come into like a better root word to describe this preference. Meaning you could get to like compassionately curious and have your own unique definition of what that means. You could come into the definition of…

generous of spirit and have your own unique definition of what that means, right? You’re coming into your own unique essence-based preferences to describe how you want to feel in the presence of your future partner. So you are in essence summarizing how that right relationship is going to feel without a rigid checklist and without being so open-minded that you attract the wrong people. And once you do the work that I’m gonna teach you to do in episode 135 and in the book for the values and personality traits,

Lily @ Date Brazen (10:20.776)

you’ll come into the three to five root words or phrases that describe the right relationship so beautifully and specifically. It’s like an impressionist painting. It’s not a rigid snapshot. And then that impressionist painting, you know how it feels to be there. You know what the vibe is at that party with them. You know how they show up and how they express love and gratitude and community. All of these things will be covered in your essence-based preferences. And then after dates,

All you gotta do is tune in with your EBPs. Did they meet this essence-based preference at least on a small level for first date? Okay, great, let’s go to the second date. Did they meet these essence-based preferences on this next date? If so, how? If not, how? This helps you vet people really beautifully because you know what the essence is of what you want. So step one, claim what you want. Step two, claim your essence-based preferences. It is a process. It will take you a couple of hours.

to create your essence-based preferences with this episode or with my book. And it’s going to be worth it because you will have a living, breathing documentation of what it feels like to be in the right relationship, which will help you magnetize them to you. And I think, you know, manifest that kind of person to you. Again, it’s not like a piece of paper with a bunch of listy, listy, listy things that you put in your pocket and put your jeans in the dryer and…

The list crumples up and you never look at it again. This is a living breathing documentation of your desires. So after every date, I encourage you to go back to your EBPs. Did you learn something about your EBPs? Do you want to shift them in any way? They’re living and breathing. They’re always changing. And speaking of vetting, let’s get to step number three, which is claiming your qualifying disqualifying questions. In episode 182 of the Date Brazen podcast and or in the book, you’re going to learn

how to claim the right qualifying, disqualifying questions to gauge whether or not someone has your essence-based preferences. Everything builds on itself with my process. So both in 182 of the podcast and in chapter five of Thank You More, Please, you’re gonna hear a lot of potential qualifying, disqualifying questions that you can use that are organized by preference. So based on your EBPs,

Lily @ Date Brazen (12:37.886)

You’re gonna choose the right three to five QD questions that make the most sense for you. And these are gonna be opening questions on a dating app. These are gonna be questions that you ask on a date. These are gonna be questions that you ask someone when you meet in person. Here are some examples of great qualifying disqualifying questions. If you want somebody family oriented, you could ask something like, who in your family makes you laugh the hardest?

What’s bringing you joy right now? This is my favorite question. Y’all know if you’ve listened to the podcast, I love this question. Joy is connective. So when you ask someone what’s bringing you joy right now, their answer will tell you a lot about them. Are they in touch with what brings them joy? What is the flavor of their answer? Do they take it kind of seriously in answer? Are they really silly? Or do they just flippantly dismiss the question? In which case that would be a blessing release, right? If their answer is nothing.

Nothing is bringing me joy. Maybe they need a therapy session more than they need a date with you, right? You can bless and release. And if their answer is, my God, that’s such a great question, which is so many responses to that question are, my God, what a great question. Their nephews are bringing them joy. Their new hobby of knitting in the knitting circle down the street is bringing them joy. They’re taking a trampoline class randomly enough and it’s bringing them joy. They’re taking a neon making class that’s bringing them joy.

their work just gave them a big promotion and bump up in their managing and they really enjoy being a manager, whatever it is that brings them joy, it’ll tell you a lot about them and it’ll be connective for the both of you if they’re the right fit. Other questions like gauging growth mindset. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? What are you working on in your life? What’s the best advice you’ve received lately?

Who’s inspiring you most lately? What’s your favorite self-care activity? What’s a goal you’ve reached in the past year you’re proud of? I recommend opening on a dating app with What’s Bringing You Joy. It’ll allow you to cut to the most important stuff of a conversation and connection quickly, and or that person will disqualify themselves by either not answering or having a flippant one word answer, bless and release. So I recommend What’s Bringing You Joy lately as an opening.

Lily @ Date Brazen (14:53.042)

And then I recommend, you know, weaving in other qualifying, disqualifying questions throughout the conversation. You don’t have to be a robot, but I want you to have these three to five questions in mind so that you can ask them and get to know them more before a first date. You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. Another question that I need you to ask before you go on a date with somebody is what are you hoping to find in your dating life? See step number one. What are you hoping, dear friend, to find in your dating life? And I want you to…

ask them. What are you hoping to find in your dating life? And if their answer is, whoa, why would you ask that? Then they probably aren’t being very intentional and they’re probably freaked out by deeper connection and conversation. That can be a blessing release. If their answer is, yeah, I’m hoping to have some fun and hook up with some people. If you want some fun hookups and you’re attracted to them, then go for it. And if not, bless and release.

If you want to find somebody who is looking for the right partnership and their answer is, I’m looking to have fun and looking for the right person to do life with, what about you? Then like, yay, keep going, right? Ask these questions. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. And before we keep going to step number four, let’s take a break and hear from our sponsor.

I was taught so many dumb dating rules growing up that I needed to be less picky, that I needed to be less intense, less sensitive, that I needed to stop being too much in order to find somebody. I was also taught that a single woman is behind a coupled woman in life. I was taught that in order to find a relationship, I needed to shrink in order to belong and be attractive. And as an adult, that led to me settling in tons of situationships. It led to me shaming myself for feeling behind my coupled peers.

And then once I became a top matchmaker and learned these matchmaking tools, once I did this work myself and uncovering my preferences and relearning what it meant to take up space in my life and my love life specifically, I attracted not only the best relationship of my life, but I felt more joyful in the process. And every step that I used to find the love of my life is now written in my book, Thank You More Please. And it not only worked for me, this book and this material has helped.

Lily @ Date Brazen (17:11.304)

thousands of single badass humans around the world to create joyful as hell dating lives that lead to the right relationships. Dating lives that feel like an act of self care. And if this sounds like you, then you need to get your hands on my book, Thank You More Please, which you can find wherever books are sold. And you can go to datepreison.com slash book to get an extra special bonus. The bonus is the dating life fix. My top podcast episodes to get you unstuck right now.

And again, you can get that bonus and my book at datebrazen.com slash book, or get the book wherever books are sold and grab that bonus at datebrazen.com slash book. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back. Now let’s get back to the episode. Step number four is make dating apps optional with an IRL dating plan. Let me answer a few questions right off the bat. Yes, in-person dating happens. It happens all the time. People meet other people IRL all the time. Yes, it’s possible for you.

even if you have social anxiety, and I’m gonna teach you how. Yes, it’s possible for you, even if you feel awkward. Feeling awkward is the price of admission for a lot of courageous dating work. In-person dating is not dead, it’s still very much alive. And in-person dating will take the pressure off of dating apps so that you’re not so dependent and stressed out by the little tiny frivolous tool, which I’m gonna also teach you how to engage with in a moment. But.

let’s get into my three step IRL dating plan. And of course, as you know, I have the complete plan in my book, Thank You More, Please, in chapter seven called Dating in Person with Main Character Energy. And for each of these steps, I also have podcast episodes that you can listen to as well. Step number one, you really need co-conspirators, okay? So this is friends who you engage as your co-conspirators in your dating life. These are friends that you trust, who are your close to.

and who you’re gonna make a courageous ask of. Just like they asked you to be in their wedding, you’re gonna ask them to help you with your dating life. And I hear you saying, Lily, they don’t know how to help me. They don’t know any single people. They say problematic things about my dating life, or they don’t know how to help me, or they set me up once and it was such a disaster that I never want it to happen again. I have the fix for all of that. Number one, you need to choose people

Lily @ Date Brazen (19:33.256)

who don’t say problematic stuff about your dating life all the time. Set a boundary, they don’t have to be your co-conspirator. Not every friend is cut out to be the right co-conspirator. Also, in my book and in episode 204 of the Date Brazen podcast, I have the boundaries that you need to set with your co-conspirator up top. So if they say something like, don’t know any single people, you will know exactly how to respond. Hey.

I don’t know any single people for me either. That’s why I’m collaborating with you. Let’s come up with some creative solutions. So many of my clients become really nervous to ask for a co-conspirator because they’re nervous about judgment from their friends. They’re nervous their friend is gonna say no. And to that I say, that makes total sense, self-compassion, self-compassion, self-compassion, both and. What if you allowed people to tell you no? What if you were courageous enough to show up for what you want at such magnitude?

that you allowed people to be adults in their agency who could say yes or no based on what they have capacity for. Let them tell you no. Their yes or no doesn’t mean anything about you as a person or a friend. It doesn’t mean anything about you or your romantic future. It just means that you are asking for what you want. And odds are, if you ask your friend with the plan that I outlined in episode 204 and the plan I outlined in my book,

If you ask your friend with that intentionality and with that magnitude of like, it’s an honor to be asked to be a co-conspirator. I see it again and again and again. More often than not, somebody being asked to be a co-conspirator says, my God, I’m so honored that you asked me. What can I do to help? Because you say, I’m reading this book or I listen to this podcast episode. Can I send it to you? I would love some intentional help in my dating life. That could look like any number of things.

looking for setups and here are my essence based preferences and here’s the qualifying, disqualifying question I want you to ask them before setting me up. When you go to a work conference, could you be looking out for QDs with these qualities? Could you be my debrief buddy after every single date? We debrief on the date and you ask me some fun, intentional questions, right? It could mean so many things being a co-conspirator and your friend is gonna be so honored that you thought of them and that you allowed them into your journey. And for those that

Lily @ Date Brazen (21:54.77)

wouldn’t respond that way, they don’t have to be your co-conspirator. So identify who you want to be a co-conspirator. Just start with one. Go listen to episode 204 to get the comprehensive plan or get my book, go to chapter seven and read it. You’re going to be so delighted by how every single thing has been thought of. Every worry that you have has been addressed. Every boundary that you need to set has been scripted for you. So go do it. And then

in the next week to ask a co-conspirator out on a date, on a friend date, and ask them this question, will you be my co-conspirator? Step number two in the IRL dating plan, joy building. Episode 181 with Chloe’s journey into joy building for IRL dating is gonna inspire the hell out of you and teach you exactly how to do this. Joy building is essentially going out in the world and doing things that bring you joy. It doesn’t matter if there are people you’re attracted to at that joy building thing.

It just matters that you make eye contact, you make conversation, and you potentially, hopefully make new friends. To increase the quality of your existence, you increase the quality of your existence with the joy, with the new connections, with the things that are filling your cup, right? Decreasing dependence on dating apps to give you dopamine hits. Joy building does that. And essentially a dating app is just here to like expand your social circle. So joy building does that. Joy built. So.

Make a list of 10 things, 5 to 10 things this month that you want to do outside of your house that bring you joy and that are connective with someone else, a meetup group, a class, anything that brings you joy and that is around other people. Go do it. Okay? And make eye contact and say hello and make new friends. That’s it. And episode 181 is going to inspire the hell out of your joy building journey. Third and final step for the IRL dating plan is to shoot your shot.

to make eye contact, to say hello to cute strangers. And episode 190 of the podcast is gonna help you do just that. It’s the Shoot Your Shot Challenge. And inside it outlines exactly how to start making eye contact even if you’re nervous, how to say hello to people, IRL, even if you’re nervous. And I hear you saying like, what if the people who I say hello to and flirt with IRL or engaged or married or whatever, who cares?

Lily @ Date Brazen (24:20.198)

Once you figure out that they’re married or engaged, you can always like leave and say like, it’s nice to meet you. Or you can just flirt with people and have a good time and stretch those muscles. I also obviously teach all of this in the book as well. But shooting your shot IRL is not about a hundred percent success rate of shooting my shot leads to a date. It’s about having your back enough, creating emotional safety with self-compassion enough to go.

make more connections and go be the version of yourself who is the main character. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. The right person will be so delighted that you said hello to them. This again, it’s not about 100 % success rate. You probably will get rejected more because you’re trying more because IRL dating and shooting your shot means you have more access to all opportunities, whether they be hard opportunities or positive opportunities. You’re also gonna have more access to magic.

to co-creation, to a new relationship when you start to employ these skills. So those are the three things that will help you build a rock solid IRL dating plan for this coming year. Step number five of seven, build a dating profile, right? Secondary to the IRL plan, build a dating profile that is so freaking you and joyful that it is undeniable whose dating profile it is. I don’t want you to try to be the wittiest in the room. I don’t want you to try to be

the most quippy, if that’s not you, or the most like, you know, sexy, gotta hook in. I want you to be yourself. You are all, you are probably witty and sexy and gorgeous and weird and you have passions and interests and things that you hyper fixate on probably. I wanna know all of that shit in your dating profile. As much as you’re willing and allowing yourself to share, I want you to be real. And the way that you do that.

is by integrating your essence-based preferences and your qualifying, disqualifying questions into your dating profile. And I teach you exactly how to do that in episode 55 of the Date Brazen podcast and in chapter six of Thank You More, Please. So use your qualifying, disqualifying questions to infuse your prompts with more of you. Answer your own QD question of what’s bringing you joy and use that answer to plug into one of your prompts.

Lily @ Date Brazen (26:42.268)

You can even say what, you know, we’ll get along if you’re looking for the right relationship to go scuba diving on seven continents with and build a family with side by side or whatever it is, right? I give examples in that episode 55 and in chapter six, but build a profile that is uniquely you. Again, the right person is looking for you. They’re not looking for a carbon cutout of what you think someone will want to see to be into you. You.

are uniquely qualified for the love of your life and your profile needs to sing with that to do its job of qualifying the right people and disqualifying the rest. In episode 121 of the Date Brazen podcast, I do a dating apps ask me anything episode where I go into my hot takes on which dating apps you should use, what your messaging strategy needs to be, how long you need to be on in the app every single day to get the best results. Sneak peek, more boundaries is better for you.

Okay, 20 minutes a day, max, one dating app, max, so that you can get the most bang for your buck in terms of time put in and effort put in and results put out. And again, that’s why we do the in-person dating plan because a dating app is just one small tool. I hate them all equally and they can be a powerful connection tool when you use them with intention. The sixth step in this process of your 2025 dating plan, six out of seven, is to do a thank you more please challenge.

I outline exactly how to do this challenge in episode 124 of the podcast and in chapter eight of my book. Inside of the Thank You More, Please challenge, you are going to be using a sciency thing called the Bader-Meinhof phenomenon or red car theory. You know, when you go shopping for a car and you are shopping for a red car and then you go out in the world and you start to see red cars everywhere. And this goes for other things too. You’re shopping for a pair of aloe yoga,

pants and then suddenly you start to see the same aloe yoga pants everywhere. It’s not that there are suddenly more aloe yoga pants or more red cars in the world than there were before you started looking for them. It’s that when you start looking for something, your awareness of that thing’s existence grows. It’s that that thing was there all along. A lot of people were wearing aloe yoga pants. A lot of people were driving red cars.

Lily @ Date Brazen (29:06.059)

It’s just that you weren’t paying attention before intentionally. And when you pay attention, your awareness of that thing grows. So in your love life, the Thank You More Please challenge is about identifying the tiny slivers of evidence that what you want exists. You see a cutie exiting a therapy office. You have a flirty conversation with your barista. You have a fun, affirming conversation with a coworker at work. You walk around and make eye contact with a cutie.

and they smile at you back, thank you more please. I want you to say it out loud. I don’t care if you feel weird. Now obviously you can whisper it under your breath or you can say it loud and proud wherever you are, know, engage your surroundings and context. Say it out loud. Your brain, very similar to step number one, when you claimed what you wanted, your brain needs to hear this out loud to affirm like, it’s happening, it’s here.

And when you start to pay attention to these small thank you more please slivers, you see a cutie and you don’t even make eye contact, but you’re attracted. Thank you more please. Right. When you see these pieces of evidence and you start to say thank you more, please, your awareness of more evidence will only grow. Thereby expanding your brain’s capacity to hold the possibility that what you want not only exists, but is inevitable for you. Do it. Thank you more, please challenge one week every single day. Thank you more, please. Thank you more, please. Thank you more, please.

By the end of the week, I promise you, you are going to have so much evidence that what you want exists and you’re going to feel so much more hopeful. Step number seven, final step in this 2025 dating plan is get yourself in community and belonging. Give yourself the gift of support in this area of your life. It’s not frivolous to want your dating life to feel better. In fact, settling for a miserable feeling dating life is a form of settling.

that leads to big settling down the road. Settling for a shitty feeling dating life is one of the reasons why you want the right relationship so desperately because you wanna get out of the dating shit. Yeah? But if you create a joyful dating life, like with the plan that I’ve outlined, by getting my book and doing a book club with it with your best friend, or by joining my program, Main Character Dating, or by just having a conversation with your co-conspirator.

Lily @ Date Brazen (31:26.647)

By making your dating life more joyful, you are subtle-proofing your decisions in the future because you’re making this dating process an extension of your agency, your aliveness, your power, instead of being at the mercy of dating apps and their tricks, instead of being at the mercy of mindset blocks that are having you believing that you’re not worthy of what you want or that you’re broken somehow. I want you to subtle-proof every inch of your dating life and dating mindset so that you can

attract the right relationship at a different level of joy and awareness of who you are and what you’re bringing to the table so that you magnetize an even better partner for you. Let’s make your dating life as joyful as possible and you do that with a community of support. Like I mentioned, read the book with a friend, do a little book club, listen to this podcast with a friend. Join me tonight in my live training on December 10th, 2024.

The Late Bloomer’s Guide to a Confident Holiday Season. can register right now at datebrazen.com slash holiday. You can also go to datebrazen.com to look at what it’s like to work together. I would love to work with you inside of my program, Main Character Dating, to help you create the most joyful as fuck dating life that makes the right relationship inevitable as soon as possible. Get yourself in community and belonging right now, whether it is with something free that I’ve offered here today, listening to more podcast episodes, getting your friend involved in this.

or getting the book at your local library or picking up the book wherever books are sold or joining for the training or joining me in character reading. Just treat this like it matters, because it does. It’s like your love life doesn’t mean everything about you. It just means that you want something. It’s not here yet. So let’s figure this out. I believe that the way we do one thing is the way we do everything.

So if you’re feeling lonely in your dating life, if you’re feeling isolated and cut off from those around you, if you’re one of the only single people in your friend circle who is single, you deserve belonging and support and care in this aspect of your life so that you can settle proof not only this part of your life, but all of it. You’re worthy of care and support. And what you want is possible. And I’m here to help you get it. I’ve seen way too much.

Lily @ Date Brazen (33:41.037)

to let you believe for one moment longer that what you want isn’t possible, that you are somehow too late or too broken or haven’t had enough experience. And if you don’t believe me, I’m over here in Brooklyn believing it for you until you can believe it for yourself. So that was the seven step dating plan. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode. I want you to go and deep dive into all of these episodes of the podcast that I mentioned and pick up Thank You More Please anywhere books are sold or at your local library.

And if you like listening to this podcast, I also did the audio book. You’re gonna love the audio book. And if you wanna start working with me, then come learn about main character dating either at the training tonight, December 10th, 2024, or if you are listening to this after December 10th, you can just go to datebrazen.com to see what it’s like to work together. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back to your friend. Talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening to the Date Brazen podcast. If you liked this episode, then you’re going to freaking love my book. Thank you more please. It’s my proven step-by-step feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love. You can buy it anywhere books are sold and then get a juicy bonus at datebrazen.com slash book. The bonus is the dating life fix. My top 10 podcast episodes to get unstuck right now. And be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back.