This week, Lily provides an in-depth and actionable coaching answer to the question, “Am I doing enough in my dating life?” Listen to Lily’s take on why you may ask yourself this question. Plus, she shares ten suggested action steps that will help you create momentum in your dating life and lead to the right relationship. 

“If you are not treating yourself like you would your best friend in your dating life, if you are swimming in self-doubt, self-blame, shame, and you’re not addressing those things first, then doing these action steps in your dating life is not going to get you into the best relationship of your life.”

If you do just one of the things mentioned in this episode, know it is beautiful enough. Celebrate yourself today (and every day)!   Print out the checklist below and give yourself a heaping dose of self-compassion.

Some Episode Hot-Takes:

• “I don’t care about you getting into a relationship. I care about you knowing how to get into the best relationship of your life. Which begins with how you treat yourself.”

• “Allowing yourself to be yourself will lead to the right relationship online and in person.”

• “Celebration is a dating strategy.”

Links:

121. Dating apps: Ask me anything
131. How your coupled friends can help you
135. How to create your essence-based preferences
Braving the Wildnerness, Brené Brown
Self-compassion.org
Kara Lowentheil’s podcast, Unf*ck Your Brain
The Loveland Foundation
Psychology Today
National Institute for the Psychotherapies

“Am I doing enough?” Checklist

1. Am I practicing self-compassion? 

2. Have I done my Essence-Based Preferences? 

3. Have I chosen my co-conspirator? 

4. Am I getting my brain coached/supported by the right coach or therapist? What support could I bring to my team to start making strides forward? 

5. Do I have a joy-building plan? Am I getting out into the world to do fun things?

6. Am I asking people out when I feel led?

7. When my energy allows, am I making new connections and discussing what I want in my dating life?

8. Am I swiping with the boundaries I need? 

9. Am I bringing community to my dating life? 

10. Am I celebrating myself?