BONUS: From paralyzed to launching her dream business with Mastermind client, Laura
Ready to crush it and take your dreams to the next level? This episode is ALL about that! We’re diving into Laura’s epic journey of leveling up her life, how she tapped into her MCE (yep, Major Character Energy), and broke down her big dreams into totally doable, bite-sized steps. And guess what? It worked!
You’ll walk away feeling fired up, knowing that what you want is not only possible—it’s practically calling your name. This is your sign. Time to hit play, step into your power and go after what you want.
We get into:
Why action without community = dead-end vibes
Laura’s raw, real talk on going through Main Character Life Mastermind during a tough time of grief
How deep personal growth impacts everything, including your relationships
The badass move from inaction to taking bold steps toward your biggest dreams
Real talk: Confidence is EVERYTHING, and asking for what you want is the key to getting it
How to create the support system you need to step onto that bigger stage in your life
Links:
Applications are open for the Main Character Life Mastermind!
Laura’s website
Laura on Instagram: @cheekylamiki @dispatcheddivorcee
Show transcript:
[00:00:00] Lily: Hello, gorgeous friends. Welcome to another episode of the date brazen podcast. I'm so glad that you are here. So today we have Laura, who is an amazing human who stepped the fuck into her main character energy and fucked some shit up in her life in such a beautiful way. And I can't wait for you to listen to her story and be inspired by it.
[00:00:25] I know you're going to leave this episode feeling like what you want is more possible than not. Like that's my hope for you. That's my intention. Um, because Laura is somebody who came into main character mastermind. We had our call about main character life mastermind previously called main character energy mastermind.
[00:00:46] And, uh, she was like, I don't know if I really need this. I already have moved abroad. I've already, you know, started my manuscript. I want to write a book. I've already done these big main character. I've already gotten a divorce, right? Like [00:01:00] I already have started dating. Why would I need extra support to step into my main character energy?
[00:01:07] And I could tell that beneath the surface, there was something else brewing, right? And I learned that she had had this business idea, this beautiful, bad ass business idea that she had been ideating on for a really long time. I knew that the practice of main character energy, of giving yourself permission to want what you want, of learning the skill of self trust and then taking massive, messy, courageous action.
[00:01:32] That skill of main character energy, that skill set would allow her to not only launch her business, but do so successfully no matter what. And so we talked about how she could integrate main character energy into every facet of her decision making process for her business and starting it and how to launch it and how to release fear of other people's judgment.
[00:01:54] And like, if you are somebody. Who has been sitting on an idea for years, [00:02:00] months, a decade. If you are somebody who has had a dream on your heart to, to put out into the world, if you're somebody who has been longing for a bigger stage in your life, then you are going to be so inspired by Laura's story. And, uh, I want you to know that what you want is possible and that getting more of what you want in this life, right?
[00:02:22] Launching that business you've been dreaming of, um, building a core group of friends that reciprocate, taking the next leap in your career at your job and like going after that promotion, like whatever the fuck is on your heart to do. Dating in a way that feels like totally main character energy, shooting your shot 100 percent of the time, flirting every single day, asking human out, humans out with abandon, blessing and releasing people with abandon, right?
[00:02:48] Like that level of main character energy is a skill set. It's not a static state of being. And so with this bonus episode with Laura, I really want you to see how we took Her desire, right? For a bigger stage [00:03:00] in her life for bigger opportunities for, um, you know, launching this business successfully. I want you to see how he broke it down into like very manageable next steps and how it was all fueled by her main character energy, right?
[00:03:13] She, I want you to see how she didn't need someone else's 15 step plan. She just needed to learn the skill. of main character energy and let that drive her decision making and her epic, uh, next steps. So listen into this episode and you gotta know that this episode is sponsored by my mastermind that I only have opened once a year.
[00:03:37] It's called Main Character Life. It's a six month proven mastermind. Check it out. In these six months, you are going to be in a life changing coven of cheerleaders in this container where you're going to complete a main character project by releasing people pleasing, building rock solid self trust, and taking risks that pay off Big time.
[00:03:57] Some epic main character projects [00:04:00] that other clients have completed are building a core group of friends that reciprocate, writing a book, confidently shooting your shot every day in your love life, starting a band and writing music, figuring out how to move across the world, starting a business, quitting a soul sucking job, getting a promotion, getting a sabbatical that you didn't think was possible.
[00:04:19] All of our members claim what they want. They learn the three skills of main character energy and they embody them daily. The skill of permission, giving themselves permission to want what they want. The skill of self trust, trusting themselves deeply that no matter what happens, they've got their own back.
[00:04:36] It will work out because of self trust. And three, massive messy action. You're going to be asked to take massive messy action daily inside this container. Your life is going to be changed by how hard you are asked to show up for what you want to do. In this container of people who have your back. And so the doors are open right now.
[00:04:55] Applications are open for the mastermind and you can find all [00:05:00] the details you need to know. You can find the link to apply in the description of this episode. My mission is to help you take center stage in your own fucking life. And I will help you do that by helping you learn the skill. Of main character energy claiming a project that's gonna change your whole life and then going after it.
[00:05:19] With abandon. By the end of Main Character Life, you will have completed a main character project and you will not believe how much you've changed in just six months. You will only say yes to dates, friendships, purchases, and commitments that are right for you. And you won't feel guilty about it. You're going to be the main fucking character.
[00:05:38] And it means that life will feel more joyful and aligned and easeful than ever before. You will have a hundred times more play and pleasure and joy in your life. Even amidst responsibilities and a busy schedule, you will know what you want. Know that you're worthy of it. Ask for what you want, and you'll be in the practice of receiving what you want all the time because of [00:06:00] the skillset of main character energy.
[00:06:01] And because of your main character project that we're going to build together, the investment for this mastermind is 6k for six months or six monthly payments of a thousand dollars. And the doors are open. Applications are right now. So let's fucking go. Let's get into Laura's episode.
[00:06:24] Hey, I'm Lily Womble, former top matchmaker and founder of Date Brazen. After setting up hundreds, I realized that with coaching, women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could. With my unconventional feminist approach, I've helped women around the world build courageous and self trust filled love lives.
[00:06:39] And now I'm here to support you. Get ready because I'm about to show the exact steps you need to attract a soul quenching partnership and feel amazing about yourself along the way. This is the Date Brazen Podcast. I'm so excited that Laura is here with me today. Laura is a main character energy masterminder who [00:07:00] created, I would say incredible things for her life.
[00:07:04] Like all of our members do during our time working together. And I can't wait to share it with you. And I know you're going to leave feeling like what you want is even more possible. So hi, Laura. Hey, Lily. Hello. Okay. First question that I'm asking folks is what feels important for folks to know about you.
[00:07:25] Laura: I'm an American born and bred woman who is an international jet setting divorcee. I'm currently based in Lausanne, Switzerland, but talking to you from the hills of Tuscany, outside of Florence.
[00:07:38] Lily: The most main character energy statement that has ever been said. I want to know what led to us working together, like what led to our meeting for you.
[00:07:50] Laura: Okay. So after following you on social media for about 6 months and seeing I think around the time that I found you was when the 1st main character energy [00:08:00] retreat happened and seen those gorgeous. Just photos and just seeing, like, you celebrating that cohort. I don't know. I was excited because, you know, everybody who's been married and then dating, and then now I'm, I'm in a relationship and haven't for a couple of years now, which is crazy.
[00:08:13] Loved the story around main character energy and that you were in the testimonials from, like, the other people who are working there. A couple of years ago, I quit my, um, corporate job to kind of try to figure out what I wanted next in life. It was around the pandemic. It was a time of transformation and reshaping for loads of people, right?
[00:08:29] So I've been in the process of writing a book about my divorce and about finding life after divorce. And so, you know, I need a greedy memoir, but that's about heartache and stuff that, you know, my parents probably don't even know, but at some point we'll read. So, you know, living, chasing my childhood dream of becoming a writer.
[00:08:46] I was also had this other idea for this business, but I didn't quite know what. So I was like mulling around with a lot of different stuff. When you started to announce that there was another main character energy opening up, I was, there was just something inside of me that was like, Driven to it and [00:09:00] was like, I want this, but as maybe we'll talk about in a minute, I was very hesitant about, because, you know, I needed it last summer.
[00:09:07] I was on the brink of, and I still am on the brink of doing a lot of really scary. Public personal stuff,
[00:09:13] Lily: and
[00:09:13] Laura: I like something that the piece that I needed or was missing was this layer of confidence for lack of a better way to package it. Of like, you know, I'm about to go on the stage publicly and talk about like some very vulnerable topics, you know, between like my own personal story and then launching, um, a business that's supporting women after their divorce.
[00:09:33] But yet on the inside, I was just like, no, not feeling, I don't know. I just wasn't leaning into this like thing that I was building. This feels like what I need to help me build the foundation within myself for when it's time to.
[00:09:47] Lily: What, do you remember what resistance came up for you? I remember it in our first call.
[00:09:53] Do you remember what you, what we talked about?
[00:09:56] Laura: I remember pieces of it.
[00:09:57] Lily: Yeah. What do you remember?
[00:09:59] Laura: So I was [00:10:00] having a hard time with like, do I really need this?
[00:10:02] Lily: Yeah.
[00:10:05] Laura: You know? Yeah. Cause it's like, it's one of those like rational school girl thought it's like, Oh yeah, I need to build confidence. I need this kind of support.
[00:10:13] I can figure it out. But it was like, That was the best way to say.
[00:10:17] Lily: Yeah. Well, I think that I remember it as like, I should have figured this out already by myself by now.
[00:10:25] Laura: Yes, exactly.
[00:10:26] Lily: I have, you were like, I have the business plan on paper. I've poured over it. I've done everything that I possibly can for my book and my business.
[00:10:34] And like, why am I not putting it out into the world? Like what's wrong with me sort of vibes?
[00:10:41] Laura: Oh, a hundred percent. Yes. Yes. That's, that's a very. Those sentences are, well, I haven't had them in a while,
[00:10:48] Lily: but
[00:10:50] Laura: yes, those were like living. Yeah,
[00:10:53] Lily: yeah.
[00:10:55] Laura: Should be talking more about it. I should have started the business.
[00:10:58] Lily: I'm curious what led to [00:11:00] you like saying yes. Cause I remember that call. You were like, I don't know. I don't know if I need, I don't know if I need this. And then suddenly you were in our doors and I just want to know what, what happened for you there.
[00:11:12] Laura: Oh, I spent, I took your, your advice, you know, cause the bad thing about our call, I was so nervous for that call.
[00:11:17] Like, I don't know. I just was, I remember like, you were like, oh, you want to take a breath? Like, you did some nice grounding thing. You gave me kind of notes right after our call of like, here's some other things to like, look up, which I adored because it was like, okay, like, What? And then I spent some time journaling, honestly, like I did, like mind mapping.
[00:11:33] I just kind of try to figure out like, what, what is the holdup here? And kind of like a book on list and kind of what it came down to a bit of it was like, it was thinking about investing in myself. When I was married, for example, I was in one of those, or I believed at the time that in order to be a good spouse, a good partner, you know, whatever dream your partner has, you help make it happen.
[00:11:55] And so my ex husband had a lot of dreams that he wanted to pursue and. [00:12:00] Um, I came from a family that like, really like my parents always support me and everything that I wanted from college, university, stuff like that. And his parents just didn't have the means so much. So I was like, I can do that. I can help with them.
[00:12:09] So he, he was the one who had like the crystal clear dreams in our relationship, which was early twenties. And so like, hey, we're gonna figure it out. And so like, that's what came out of the journey was I was like, you know, I don't have a husband here to negotiate with. I only have myself. And this is, this is my money.
[00:12:23] This is my time. This is my dream. I am. Launching up, I'm writing a book that we'll see the light of day, you know, I am launching a business. Like I left a massively well paid international corporate job. My body was doing all these actions, you know, and then I'm also saying that I need more help, but then there's why, why am I like dragging my body, dead body almost for lack of a better analogy behind, you know, if like, obviously, I filled out the form, I talked to you, and yet I'm still resisting cause.
[00:12:52] So like, that's kind of what came out of the, the journaling. It was like, yeah, why wouldn't I put myself first? Like, this is the beauty of being [00:13:00] single. With my own free and safe means to do stuff like
[00:13:03] Lily: this. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that that image of pulling a dead body behind you as you Like, you're like, here are the action steps.
[00:13:12] And that's why I really think that action without the mindset work and without community, um, is, is a lot of times like cutting yourself off at the waist and expecting yourself to run a marathon. It's like you, you're, you're cutting off a huge part of your like literally integrated body by not, you know, bringing along your heart and your head along with your legs, because your legs can do amazing things.
[00:13:38] When you're an integrated aligned human being with. These different parts you can do even more. What was it like to come in to the program? And what do you remember first learning, feeling, seeing, experiencing, like, take me there.
[00:13:54] Laura: Oh my God. Just again, overwhelmed. I was so nervous the first couple of sessions and probably [00:14:00] everybody else was, but naturally I only see my experience.
[00:14:03] Gosh, the first one. I mean, I remember our day long retreat and the sound bath that was incredible. So the day long retreat was like a four or six hours zoom call. And like for my time zone, it was like 6 p. m. to almost midnight. I could be getting the actual hours different. The first couple of ones, you know, we were talking about like limiting beliefs and self compassion and things like that.
[00:14:22] I just remember feeling just overwhelmed a bit. Took me a while to really like connect with the group. And connect in the space. And part of that is like, um, I really connect one on one with people. And like, I knew that like right after we had started, I had like a big trip in the U S was kind of in and out a little bit of the groups.
[00:14:42] Like, like I've done so much work over the years in therapy and other groups, it's like, I know what works for me, which is the one on one connection. So I think I started reaching out to a couple of the members and just having calls and just like that helped. And that just helped to kind of ease it out.
[00:14:54] And then also that must have been when I was learning self compassion. Because I was like, it's okay. [00:15:00] It's the beginning of the course. Don't need to like, don't feel bad. The real turning point that happened for me in the mastermind was really, yeah, in month 2, when I got back from that trip, that was when, uh, my cat.
[00:15:13] I was diagnosed with cancer for those listening because they don't know me. Um, my, my cat spoiled and she did pass away during the program. Um, but my cat was, uh, 15 years old, had, um, chronic kidney disease and then gay cancer right on top of that. So the end of her life was, you know, pretty rapid. And that was all hitting during, um, like month two, month three.
[00:15:32] I'm the mastermind this cat. I write about it on my newsletter, my blog. Um, but she basically was kind of this icon of my life. She existed. Back in my life in the U. S. before I moved abroad, when I was still married, and then now into kind of my life after in my divorce. And so she was kind of like this thread that was throughout, and it was very hard to, what does this mean?
[00:15:53] I feel like I could have those feelings and the compassion I got from you, Lily, and also the group. Like, that really helped me, I think, almost like, in a way, [00:16:00] transition as I made my way through my main character journey.
[00:16:02] Lily: Mm, yeah. Mini. Sweet mini cat. Yeah. What was it like for you to be grieving? During this experience of main character, energy, mastermind.
[00:16:15] Laura: Oh, my goodness. So in like a weird way, and I knew it as I was going through it, but like when I was going through the grief, it was amazing. It feels like a strange word to use in a situation, but to be able to feel my feelings and be there and be present and also still show up for the mastermind calls, still be seen, still be witnessed that whole grief period and kind of know it, you know, being dramatic, like my life's going to be over.
[00:16:36] How can I live with all my cat? So like, I know I'm going to live, you know, stuff like that. And caring for her literally, I took calls from the floor with her on blankets, but I feel like, you know, I was really connecting that to when I was going through my divorce and even my marriage and that I very much like sweat the grief under the carpet.
[00:16:52] Like it was just have to move on. It's like, I could be so present in my grief with it because I was going through this journey of [00:17:00] like belonging to myself as part of the mastermind. So it was like this bizarre, heartbreaking, healing situation all at the
[00:17:08] Lily: same time. Whoa. Whoa. That's like intense.
[00:17:12] Laura: Yeah. And you let me cry.
[00:17:14] Everyone let me cry. It was great.
[00:17:15] Lily: Yeah.
[00:17:16] Laura: We kept feeling the feelings.
[00:17:18] Lily: Yeah. What was it like for you? You know, a lot of the members are like, We're single and some were coupled like yourself. What was it like to go through as a couple person? And like, what did you see any impact on, on your relationship life, uh, during the program?
[00:17:36] And then I want to talk about like the other impacts as well.
[00:17:40] Laura: Yeah. So like in the beginning, I was like, because. You know, your background as a brazen and dating coach and a lot of the core came from that. Um, I was like, nervous to say that I was partnered during and that was actually my question. I had to be like, so I'm not single.
[00:17:54] Can I be in this program? You know, um, but I do identify more as a single [00:18:00] person who happens to have a boyfriend, you know, like, you know, joke about that all the time. We're like, how long we've been together. I don't know.
[00:18:06] Lily: Yeah, I love that.
[00:18:08] Laura: It was funny. I didn't notice any of a difference. Like I did, you know, not talk about relationship too much, but that's also me.
[00:18:14] I'm very intentionally my biggest value that I learned through, you know, my, um, divorce and my marriage was that I am mortified of losing myself in a relationship. Like that is my biggest fear and I'm fiercely independent. And so, you know, cause I was in a co cohesive codependent relationship. You know that.
[00:18:34] You happen to get into when you're in your 20s. We don't know any better, you know, so got rid of that one. It's fine. Um, and then my, uh, my boyfriend, that's also his biggest thing is he is fiercely independent as well. And so we. Both talked a lot about this in the beginning of our relationship of, you know, kind of coming in, but maintaining our own individuality.
[00:18:52] So that's 1 piece that like, you know, I joined the mastermind, not for my relationship and my love life, though, [00:19:00] that did help me. And that did come up of like, you know, I'm in a relationship and it's a great 1 and I've worked hard for it and we work hard for it together. I want to enjoy and be happy that I'm in 1 and.
[00:19:11] Definitely. I would say over the last couple of months, we definitely like brought more. I love using Qt to build things more than we did probably before, because I'm just a lot more secure in myself.
[00:19:20] Lily: Oh, I love that, Laura. That's such a fun bonus. Isn't it? Like it's, it's a bonus. It's not the main event.
[00:19:27] You are the main event. You're. Belonging to yourself. Sounds like the main event. So we talked about in the beginning of when we first talked, you were like, okay, I have this business plan. I have this like idea. I have this book that I'm writing and I'm not doing anything about it. I'm like, not taking action.
[00:19:47] I'm not like, I'm really struggling to where did you get to with the, you know, this container and then how did you get there? So let's talk about that.
[00:19:58] Laura: How do we, how do we break that down? Cause that's [00:20:00] a huge journey.
[00:20:00] Lily: Huge journey. So tell me, tell me about what, when you first started noticing shifts in how you were allowing yourself to like, take up space in your dreamy dreams.
[00:20:17] Laura: Okay. I would say so like in the mastermind, like picking the project right, right away, I thought that my project was that I was going to take pleasure in the process.
[00:20:28] Lily: Yeah,
[00:20:28] Laura: building a company thought it was gonna be, and then towards the end of December, I remember we had a coaching moment where I, you know, I was really focused on
[00:20:39] Um, I wanted to talk about what I was doing on social media. Like, for whatever reason that was like really important to me. I was not sharing the business that I was building or about my book or much about my life. And that was around the time where, I dunno if this was in our coaching or afterwards, I like journaled this through if I am.
[00:20:58] I'll carry myself to this, [00:21:00] like, PCEO persona of somebody who's building a business who acts like X, Y, Z, and I can't even figure who I'm trying to emulate. Then it was like, either stop emulating or just be that person, and that's when I felt like the really, the shift happened. It was like end of December, beginning of January, or it was like, okay, my projects shifted from just taking pleasure in the process to be like, I am the CEO, like I'm building a business.
[00:21:24] I'm getting a book out. I'm just going to, I'm just going to do it. Like be here, like stop waiting to arrive at this moment. Like I've been working on all these projects for years. Why not now? The most interesting thing around that time was like, I think it was in a week period, I must've like post on LinkedIn, something about my business.
[00:21:42] I must've sent out a newsletter about it. Like all these things started happening. And actually I got like an invite to talk at an internal event, more subscribers on my newsletter, like just launched. Magic was happening just by being present and acting how to act and talking about the work that I've been on, which was phenomenal.
[00:21:58] Lily: It was sort of like this, [00:22:00] this paralyzed version of you who had all these plans on paper, but wasn't what, for some reason, it wasn't connecting with, like, doing the thing. And just to recap, I, I remember vividly you just realizing, like. Oh, there's not some out there, like you're saying, there's not some out there version of me.
[00:22:19] It's she's here. I belong to her. She belongs to me. Let's just try what, what, and then it led to you like being invited to all these things and getting what you wanted. What happened next?
[00:22:32] Laura: Well, um, I got on an airplane and did a five week trip around the world.
[00:22:36] Lily: Amazing.
[00:22:37] Laura: Um, I spent a couple of weeks in, in Japan, like I.
[00:22:42] I had a vacation in Japan and my boyfriend was joining me. Some of the friends were joining, but I went a week and a half early. Um, I basically consider Tokyo one of my homes. And so, um, when my boyfriend and I were planning this trip, um, because we went to Japan last year, he was like, do we have to go back to Tokyo?
[00:22:57] And I'm like, you don't have to, but I do, [00:23:00] you know, cause I need to go. I need to go fill my heart and see my friends. And what was incredible during that week that I was there. Because I'd also like shift in my brain of like, okay, like, I am launching my business in June. I'm going to work. I'm going to prove myself that I can work on the road, not just holiday.
[00:23:16] Um, you know, my retiree phase is over why was there? I was seeing, um, friends who, um, friends and coworkers who I've worked with, you know, 5 years prior. And like knew that I had like left the company, but didn't quite know what I was working on. And so I spent that entire week reconnecting with people and pitching them on my business and my idea and getting real life feedback and like all these different, like, I mean, people's jobs were dropping on the floor to be extra dramatic about it.
[00:23:41] And it felt incredible because that entire week when I was out in a city that I love, a city that I call home, I just felt like I was so calm. And like, I still like knew who I was and this is a thing that like, you know, I've got a really great long history of being anxious and driven by nervous energy, the, the [00:24:00] kind of the vibe that I'm getting these days, it's just calm and centered.
[00:24:04] And a lot of that honestly feels like a lot of the work internally, like with the mind, like I, you know, my values, who I am and what I want to do and believe that I can do were creating for my life, which is such an incredible.
[00:24:21] So like, that's, I was, yeah, I mean, traveling around the world and being with people who I love and adore and my friends and just, and being fully me and it was absolutely, it was incredible.
[00:24:34] Lily: That's awesome. Laura. I love that. I'm so proud of you and excited for you. I think people might be listening and be like, wait, how did you get there?
[00:24:44] Like what lesson or what thing? So can you break down, uh, uh, I know it's an evolution, but like how much of that was being in the mastermind, how much of that was like, Other work you were like, tell me more about the [00:25:00] how you got from, I'm paralyzed from taking action. I know what I need to do, but I'm not doing it because I'm judging myself too.
[00:25:08] I feel calm and really, uh, powerful.
[00:25:15] Laura: I would say kind of The mastermind came almost as like my senior thesis, I was explaining it to one of the other girls at the retreat. You know, I felt like the, the, the main character energy mastermind was like my, you know, my, yeah, my graduation or my like, final year and kind of self development season of life.
[00:25:34] So, okay, I'm going to say, um, how I got here to that magic moment, the year that I, after I'd left Japan, um, and returned back to Switzerland, you know, I was coming from a height of my career with the company. And I was coming back to Switzerland with this intention of like, okay, it's time for me to like, really kind of settle decide.
[00:25:52] Do I like living in Switzerland? What's this home going to look like, you know, and make this intention since I had had a little bit of that delayed work from, you know, [00:26:00] getting divorced and moving to 3 and 3 times internationally. Two years, two, three years, something like that. Um, so I came back to Switzerland.
[00:26:08] I was like, okay, I'm going to make it to home. I'm going to learn French. I'm going to do all this stuff. And like, I walked into this job and just the company was going through massive restructuring reorgs and it was just awful. And I like just found myself in this like massive cycle of burnout and the deepest depression that I've been in in my life.
[00:26:23] And I've been divorced, like, come on. So like around that time was when I kind of. Again, my body and my heart made this, or no, my brain and my heart, I'm not sure two parts of my body made this decision that, you know, she wanted to quit her job and, you know, managed to get out during a, a round of layoffs, but it took a long time for my brain to follow.
[00:26:43] Right. So kind of what we were speaking about in the beginning and the pandemic hit. Right. And it was like, cool. I'm just blowing up my life multiple times. And so I was already on this like journey of like. Okay, if I am living in Switzerland away from my family in the U. S. [00:27:00] and I am choosing to live here and I have, you know, my apartment and my chat, like, I need to be intentional about this.
[00:27:07] And that's when I started, like, kind of going into, like, programs as well, just to try and find, you know, it's kind of like, some things would speak to me. What are these things that there was this gap? I didn't know what it was. I was also, I was writing my book. I was rewriting my book. I was like trying to, you know, figure out what it's like to do a narrative memoir, you know, in a memoir about heartbreak.
[00:27:27] I mean, come on, like, I don't choose easy things ever. There was that process and a lot of like, I think the beginning of that process was really belonging to myself and my identity as a writer and an author. So that's a big one. And then I also had this idea in my head for this business, but I didn't know what it was.
[00:27:46] And I've alluded to it a number of times, basically the, um, so I'm writing this book about recreating my life after divorce and it's promised, but it's like, as I was reflecting on my own process of how I went through my breakup and navigating [00:28:00] divorce and like why I felt so strange and like almost suffocated in my marriage when it was something that I said yes to, like nobody forced me to get married.
[00:28:07] I said, yes, I was. 21. And when we split, I was 30. So I spent my 20s with like an old Mary lady, I like to say, raised in the 90s with Disney princesses. And like everything goes to, um, leads to marriage. And I didn't know that there was this thing called patriarchy. So, yeah, so there was, I was going through all of that kind of like thinking about the process that I was like, going through to kind of like, get to know myself, like values, work, therapy, CBT, like all this stuff.
[00:28:34] And like, so a combination of things over the number of years, you know, looking for work and then deciding. Again, like going through the motions, but definitely didn't want to. So like all these different things, doing more than things that I thought I should do. So yeah, that was kind of like where I was going.
[00:28:49] So I was trying to figure all this stuff out over the number of years before I met you. Um, as I was in transition and kind of about a year before now, I'm coming back to an aging mastermind. I was committing, [00:29:00] okay, I'm serious about wanting to start my business. What is this? And like, I went through different versions of it.
[00:29:04] I got a kick ass name for it. Yeah. Dispatch divorcee. So that's kind of my, my moniker and my brand, but I didn't quite know what it was. And I actually did not land on it until, um, actually halfway through the mastermind,
[00:29:16] Lily: which
[00:29:18] Laura: solidified what it is, how I'm going to launch with it. But essentially I was writing this book about this process of building my life after divorce.
[00:29:25] And I was thinking, I was starting to be that friend that everybody would call when they were starting to go through a divorce. I was like, there's something there. I do not, I'm not feeling called to be like a divorce coach to help people through it. Cause I just, I don't have enough break. So like, but there's something else there, like some support, some community, something to help women who are like, have already finished going through like a divorce.
[00:29:45] Really shitty, messy, awful parts of the divorce where like, you know, the life you thought you were going to have with somebody and commit to are like, you know, it's just blown up, right? Like shit. Now what do I do? I actually crystallized on this back September. So around the time the CEO energy [00:30:00] started to come out, crystallized in my head.
[00:30:01] So with all this stuff, where it was that I am launching a business, that's a community, that's a platform to help women get back in the center of their lives after divorce.
[00:30:11] Lily: Yeah.
[00:30:11] Laura: So that's what Dispatch Divorcee is. It's a media company, it's experiences, it's a shop, it's a brand, it's lots of cool, crazy, amazing stuff.
[00:30:21] But basically at the heart of it is, it's community and it's being with people who have been where you're at, won't tell you, stop crying because they know it. You don't have to explain what's happened, but it's like, cool, let's go forward. So I was working on all that stuff and basically I needed the confidence to like, basically, I don't know, like quiet down the shoulds, the doubts, the feeling like, why haven't I launched this business that I've been thinking about for three years?
[00:30:48] Why wasn't the first draft of a box and then the perfect draft, even though I have spent. 15 years a dog marketer, not an author, all that shit. We're like keeping me like [00:31:00] safe and all that stuff. But it's, it's time. I want to, you know, I admire people who are out there doing the messy stuff and I want to be that person too.
[00:31:07] Lily: I am that person too. Yes. Yes. I love it. And I love that. You're like the mastermind was my senior thesis. Sounds like the perfect end cap to all the work that you'd been already building, but just sort of like putting the pieces. Together in practice and being held accountable with loving, compassionate support to doing the things.
[00:31:31] Laura: That was the best. One of the, one of the best things about mastermind was like how, you know, every call would start with your brag. What do you need from, you know, what's your intention, what do you need? And I remember especially, you know, when I was, when I was grieving, when I was going through stuff, it's like, I just want to be seen.
[00:31:46] I just want like someone to be like, you're doing a good job. You're on it. You know? And it was just like, and people would. And I'd get like DMs from other people in the cohort, like, or like, you know, I'm just like, I see you. And it was just like, holy shit. Ask for what you want [00:32:00] and you get it.
[00:32:01] Lily: So cool. I think that that's one of the wildest lessons that I keep learning that I coach on, which is like asking for what you want is the answer to getting it.
[00:32:13] Like, you know, like ask the act of asking is even more, like, it's simple. It's also complex because it's, It's centering yourself and really revolutionizing the way that you view whether or not you're deserving or worthy of asking. Like when you ask, you are claiming that I get to ask, and that is revolutionary.
[00:32:35] Laura: I love that claiming that I get to ask. That's another thing with like You know, my three year period when I was kind of marrying and had these like ideas of what I wanted to do. Like, you know, I was kicking myself in the back about like, how I hadn't talked more about what I was doing. And there were other people that were saying like colleagues or something.
[00:32:54] I'd have coffees with them. They were like, document what you're doing on LinkedIn. And I'm like, but I don't want to, because I don't want to open myself up [00:33:00] to feedback of others until I know that I am ready. And that was the beauty of. Main character energy was, and also with all the work that I did prior to it, but like then it just crystallized.
[00:33:10] Lily: And so now
[00:33:11] Laura: I am asking, and it is so cool to see who's showing up.
[00:33:14] Lily: Oh my God. I mean, I bet that's really liberating and also like intense in its own way. Um, uh, to ask and to see who's showing up and to see how people show up. And I think that that's so many people's fear is like, what if people in my life don't show up or like, what if they're not the right people?
[00:33:31] To show up or what if I don't have the right friends or what if I don't have friends who I feel comfortable with asking? I think main character energy is like weaving your life together around what support you want support to feel and look like and how you want to support yourself in stepping onto a bigger stage.
[00:33:49] Laura: Absolutely. And that's the biggest thing I was kind of looking through some of my, like my, my maps for Laura's main character energy for afterwards. And like, one of the biggest things is, you know, who gets access to me or [00:34:00] like, who, um, You phrased it very well a moment ago about, um, asking for support and the kind of like, who shows up
[00:34:07] Lily: and
[00:34:07] Laura: the support I want.
[00:34:09] So it's like learning that kind of those boundaries around myself, as far as how I want support to look like. That's a thing that I learned not as concretely through this, but definitely through like my own coaching and the mastermind team, the others getting coached is just like a way to kind of frame it, you know, as opposed to like my, my past life.
[00:34:28] That's like my pre main character energy life was, you know, anybody who wants me can have me like, I want, I want to be like for everybody, like, but I'm afraid people to judge me. So this is super frenetic and like frantic and like, just like, let me, let me, let me get, which makes sense. Broken hearted girl abandoned, get it, you know, I get it.
[00:34:47] It totally makes sense. And I hear her, I don't need it so much right now. You don't respond to me. So you're a friend. That's okay. Fine.
[00:34:54] Lily: Yeah, yes, it is about taking the power back of like your interpretation [00:35:00] of people's support or not support. It actually doesn't mean anything about you. So what would you say to somebody who is curious about the mastermind or on the fence about joining?
[00:35:11] I
[00:35:11] Laura: would get on a call with Lily, I mean, anytime that you can get one on one time with Lily is cool. So if you're on the fence for it, I would, I mean, I would, I would journal, do whatever is kind of your personal recipe for how you work through things. Mine is journaling, kind of leaning on myself, which is, you know, one of my main character traits of like, usually I know what's, what's going on and I can work through it.
[00:35:32] Um, just ask yourself, try, try to ask like a series of like, why is what, what's holding me back from this? What am I afraid of? And then flip it, imagining the best case scenarios. I don't know, something like that. If you're on the fence, I would just do that. Like what happens if you do like grow into your main character energy?
[00:35:48] What's like the most, Crazy, insane thing that might happen.
[00:35:54] Lily: Yeah. How would you recap what's happened for you since stepping into your main character energy [00:36:00] with this framework and community?
[00:36:03] Laura: I'm not afraid anymore. I feel a little emotion happening. This is exciting. I have been working my entire life. It might be too dramatic, but we'll go with it.
[00:36:13] You know, like I've always wanted to have my own business. I am a professional marketer and community builder, but I've been building communities for brands, not ones that matter. And it's like, this is shit that I know how to do. And now I get to do it and I'm not holding myself back anymore. Which feels incredible.
[00:36:31] It feels incredible to step into myself, belong to me. And just, I feel like part of me wants to say a different person, but another part of me knows that I've always been here and it's just so wonderful to just like be on this journey. And like I, you know, as I explained to my parents and my boyfriend, things are shifting and a fail.
[00:36:49] Yes. What my business looks like when I launched the website in April. June, and then start to promote in the fall is going to be very different than how it's going to look like in six months and a year from now. And that's the [00:37:00] exciting part because like I've got my own back. I know what I need. Nobody is telling me what to do anymore.
[00:37:06] And I'm stop asking, looking for that phantom person to tell me, yes, you need to do this.
[00:37:11] Lily: I love it. Laura. I'm excited for you. And I love just to, just to repeat what you said. Like part of me feels like a completely different person. And part of me has the awareness that I've always been this person. I think that that's just so brilliant and beautiful.
[00:37:27] And I'm so grateful that you joined us in the mastermind and that you allowed yourself to be supported at this level to start getting more of what you already wanted.
[00:37:41] Laura: Thank you. And Lily for Having this container, like I remember when we spoke and kind of in the beginning how you were like, you get, you know, guaranteed results.
[00:37:50] I'm like, how the fuck does that happen? You know, and the biggest part was being on the journey with a group of other people who were also spending time on wanting to invest in [00:38:00] themselves and dream bigger and achieve bigger, not just dream, but like do it. And so we were all on a different Journey in a different path, but doing it together and it was just really amazing to see, like, you know, the uniqueness of everyone in the group and how, like, like you said, co create, like, we all co created that experience.
[00:38:17] It's like that experience would not have been the same if any, if it was a different group, it would not have been the same with different people, period. Yeah. And like, just everyone. It was, it was pretty magical and pretty wonderful too.
[00:38:31] Lily: I'm so glad you feel that way. I mean, I know that from doing this program now a few times in this particular way, I've led masterminds before.
[00:38:41] They've always been so, I love the container. I love the group coaching. I love the smaller group coaching is for the mastermind. The main character energy mastermind cohorts though. Always are the right group of people at the right time, always, just because of, I think, because of my intention to co [00:39:00] create the right cohort with our application process.
[00:39:05] And, you know, really being intentional about like, you come when you're ready and there's like, we're not shaming. Anybody for any place that they're at in the journey, we're all like starting together and moving forward together. It's like, so cool.
[00:39:19] Laura: Absolutely. There was a lot of heavy lifting in the beginning for sure.
[00:39:22] And even like around the time when I got like my clicks, like around month four, it felt like so many, like, it wasn't just me that things were starting to align.
[00:39:31] Lily: And when you say your clicks, does that mean like your ahas?
[00:39:35] Laura: My ahas, the shit, like literally it felt like not so much a life moment, but a shift moment from like comparing myself to whoever those.
[00:39:41] That CEO model was to be like, no, no. Why am I waiting to become, to reach some, I don't know, achievement level and become the CEO that I wanna be? Why not do it now?
[00:39:52] Lily: Yeah, why
[00:39:52] Laura: not Talk about what I'm doing now? I love it. That, that, that moment.
[00:39:56] Lily: I love it, Laura. Well, thank you so much for coming and sharing your [00:40:00] story with us.
[00:40:00] I'm cheering you on dispatch divorcee. Do you have a website people can check out or an Instagram? I
[00:40:07] Laura: do. So go to DispatchDivorcee. com. So go to that website when this is, um, episode is up, I'm sure there's going to be some lovely, juicy, wonderful stuff waiting for you that I'm roll out. And then, um, if you want to keep tabs with me, Instagram, I am CheekyLaminky.
[00:40:21] Lily: So excited for you. Thank you more please to all that you have. co created and will continue to co create. And, uh, y'all, I'm so glad that you tuned into this episode. Info on the mastermind is below in the description and in the show notes and apply if you feel led and let's fucking [00:41:00] go.