Are you tired of living for everyone else’s expectations… and ready to step into your own dang spotlight? ✨

In this behind-the-scenes episode, I’m sharing practical tools to stop people-pleasing for good — and start building the stupidly joyful, self-trusting, main-character life you’re meant for.

Inside this episode:

• What people-pleasing really is (it’s deeper than being “too nice”)

• Why releasing people-pleasing is so damn hard (and why it’s not your fault)

• How to start rebuilding self-trust in small, powerful ways

• Three practical steps you can take today to enter your Main Character Era

If you’re feeling the heart pull to live bigger, braver, and more joyfully — the doors to Main Character Life are open right now.

Apply for Main Character Life (closing May 2!): HERE

This is my six-month small group mastermind where you’ll learn to:

• Release people-pleasing as your default

• Build rock-solid self-trust

• Take massive, messy action toward your dreams

• Create a stupidly joyful life that finally feels like yours

Work with Lily:

Learn how to work with me: https://www.datebrazen.com/

Order my book, “Thank You, More Please”: https://www.datebrazen.com/book

Follow me on

✨ Instagram

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✨ Youtube

Show transcript:

Lily @ Date Brazen (00:00.047)

Hey gorgeous friends, welcome to another episode of the Date Brazen podcast. I’m so glad that you’re here. So today I have a very special episode for you. I am pulling back the curtain and sharing the recording from my latest live training, which was called Stop People Pleasing and Build a Stupidly Joyful Life. So in this training, I’m going to unpack exactly what people pleasing is, how it is slowing you down from building

a more wild and expansive and joyful fucking life and exactly what tools to use to practically stop people pleasing and start getting more of what you want. Even if people pleasing feels like super normal for you, even if you’re like, it’s so on default mode that you’re unsure how to escape it.

Even if it feels emotionally unsafe to set a boundary or to do something new, even if you have the thought, it’s impossible to change this pattern, it’s what I was taught from a young age, whatever, this training is going to give you massive fucking clarity on exactly how to stop people pleasing and to enter your main character energy era, where you start, in the words of Mary Oliver, building your wild and precious life. The quote that…

really inspires me in this training and in the opening of main character life mastermind is the Mary Oliver quote, what are you going to do with this one wild and precious life? Because all of the shrinking that you’re doing, all of the people pleasing, all of the self doubting that you’re doing, it’s really normal because you were socialized in this world, both and it is time to learn something new right fucking now. So.

Buckle in, it’s gonna be such a powerful episode. If you didn’t join us in the training live, this is your chance to get behind the scenes and to learn exactly how to release people pleasing and start stepping into your main character energy season, no matter your age, no matter your level of experience. And I can’t wait for you to listen. Also, this episode is brought to you by my mastermind main character life, which is a six month small group, high impact, high accountability mastermind.

Lily @ Date Brazen (02:14.958)

for quiet dreamers, late bloomers, and perfectionistic overthinkers to start releasing people pleasing, build rock solid self trust, and to become the main character of their whole fucking life in six months or less. In this training, I’m gonna share more about main character life. I’m going to unpack who it’s right for, who will get results in this mastermind, and applications close on May 2nd, 2025. So if you’re listening to this before May 2nd, I really want you to explore whether or not you need to apply.

It’s okay if it’s even a nervous shaky yes. And in our application call after you fill out a 10 minute application, we’re gonna unpack like whether or not this is the right next step for you and your life. And if you’re listening to this after May 2nd, 2025, you can join the wait list of main character life in the description of the episode. And you can if you’re listening to this before May 2nd, 2025, just apply with the link in the description of this episode right fucking now. I cannot wait to be your coach. I can’t wait to help you usher in.

your main character energy season. With that, let’s get into the episode.

Hey, I’m Lily Wonville, former top matchmaker and founder of Date Brazen. After setting up hundreds, I realized that with coaching, women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could. With my unconventional feminist approach, I’ve helped women around the world build courageous and self-trust-filled love lives, and now I’m here to support you. Get ready, because I’m about to show you the exact steps you need to attract a soul-quenching partnership and feel amazing about yourself along the way. This is the Date Brazen podcast.

the promise of this chat and this container is that you get to finally realize how not alone you are. And that is in and of itself, subtle proofing. So tonight you’re going to learn how to stop people pleasing and build a stupidly joyful life. Here is where we’re going. How to set and maintain boundaries without guilt. So you can finally prioritize yourself and get your needs met.

Lily @ Date Brazen (04:18.81)

how to make decisions with confidence so you can stop overthinking and take aligned action toward your dreams, and how to break free from the waiting game and stop putting your joy on hold and how to be unapologetic in your main character energy everywhere. That’s where we’re going. Here’s who I think you are based on my coaching hundreds of people over the last seven years. And let me know if which of these feels like you, like resonant, okay?

You say yes when you mean no to plans, work, dates and favors because you’re afraid that if you disappoint people, they’ll leave. You’re burning out trying to be everything for everyone. From the outside, your life looks great. Like maybe you, maybe your friends would be shocked that you were on this call. Maybe they’d be like, my God, you travel so much. Your life is so great. Or

You make so much money or you just got a new job. Your life is so great. But on the inside, you feel restless, stuck and aching for something more. You either can’t name what that more is or you don’t know and it actually, or you do know and it actually terrifies you. Anybody? Number two? Yes. Okay. Seeing some yeses. Yes. Exclamation point. Okay. Got it. Good to know that you’re not alone.

And I’ve been there too. We’re gonna get into that in a second. Number three, you’re drowning in emotional labor, carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs. And you don’t know how to opt out without paralyzing guilt. Yes?

Let me know. Number four, you’ve been shrinking from your deepest desires. Not because you’re lazy, but because you’re scared they actually might not be possible. Let me know in the chat which of these four, one through four, which feels most resonant to you.

Lily @ Date Brazen (06:20.785)

two and four, number four, one, two. Okay, so we’ve got a smattering here. Okay, all of the above. Yep, okay. You’re in the right place. Like take second, you’re not alone. You’re not in isolation and we’re here to figure this out. Okay? Okay, great. Good to know all of that in the chat. Love it. Here’s what I think you want. Again, based on me coaching hundreds of people just like you over the last seven years. To stop being so damn tired and burnt out.

To get out of just surviving, you want to want things again? More clarity, confidence, and proven direction to do the thing? You want to set boundaries without guilt. You want to feel like the main character of your own fucking life and not just like the best friend. You want to make your dream life happen, whether that’s attracting an amazing relationship or starting your dream business or getting a promotion or…

Just living a more joyful existence. Which of these do you think you want most? Like which of these just feels like, my God, if I had that, I feel like my life would be so much better. Which of these fall in true love? Number two, you had to get out of just surviving. You wanna want things again. Yep. Boundaries, clarity. Kalia, yes. Jennifer to make my dream life happen. Ada, number three, clarity, confidence, and proven direction. Okay, cool. Love it. Okay.

Good to know what you want. This space is about wanting more things. And you probably don’t know how, and it feels impossible. The reason it feels impossible to get what you want is that you were taught to people please in order to survive. We are here to fuck that shit up, okay? So what is people pleasing? How do I define people pleasing? Let’s talk about it. People pleasing is not about being nice.

It’s the habit of abandoning yourself in real time to avoid being misunderstood, judged or abandoned. It’s sidelining what you want because of fear. And it’s on purpose. Women and people socialized as women were taught to behave this way in order to live life in our patriarchal white supremacist capitalist worlds. We were taught to hustle and make our needs smaller in order to not disrupt the status quo.

Lily @ Date Brazen (08:45.637)

Here’s what it looks like. Choosing comfort for others over honesty for you. This looks like smiling and nodding through dinner while someone says something that deeply hurts you because you don’t want to ruin the vibe. Shrinking to avoid judgment. That means editing your opinion in a group chat, keeping it light so nobody thinks you’re too intense, too deep or too much. Disappearing to stay good.

Not following up on that dream project because your friends, your partner, your boss, or your parents might not get it. And you don’t want to look ridiculous, rock the boat, look selfish or self-aggrandizing, or risk being seen as the difficult one. This one hits me hard. Been there. Saying yes when your body is screaming no. Agreeing to help with one more thing. The party, the work favor, the phone call, even though you’re exhausted, just so you won’t disappoint anyone.

Trying to manage everyone’s emotions with scanning and hypervigilance just in case you need to jump in and save the day. Over-explaining your decisions, tiptoeing around every text, triple-checking your tone because God forbid someone thinks you’re selfish or uncaring. It’s self-protection dressed as politeness and it’s not getting you where you want to go. Is this hitting? Let me know if this is like…

If this is resonating with you because if so you’re in the right place and you found your people because yes, okay. Yep Disappearing to stay good to the point of being harm a hermit for a while and losing sight of what the heck I even do want professionally a day Yes, a hundred percent. Okay, glad this is resonating. You’re in the right place What will fix this? the skill set of main character energy the skill set of main character energy

So if you don’t know me, I’m gonna back up. I’m gonna introduce myself and share why the heck I’m teaching on this subject. I’m here to help you become the main character of your whole fucking life. It is the skill set that helped me go from feeling completely burnt out at work, from soul sucking jobs at nonprofits to preschool teaching to being at a matchmaking firm for years. I felt behind and lost most of the time, overthinking every interaction.

Lily @ Date Brazen (11:07.997)

ask and decision asking all my friends for like, are your, what’s your opinion group, group texting, my like friends to be like, what should I do all the time? Cause I didn’t trust myself and having panic attacks on my break to becoming an entrepreneur and building a joyful six figure business from nothing but my ideas and brain and, collective experience and, learning from other people. it’s a job that I freaking love.

from feeling like a complete late bloomer, overthinking every dating decision, settling in situationships and ultimately a toxic relationship where I was people pleasing constantly, to building a joyfull as fuck dating life and attracting the right partner, to feeling lonely and too much most of the time, never asking for what I wanted from friends because I thought it was too much, playing the best friend role in all of their lives,

always feeling like I was the one reaching out or caretaking for others, to building a reciprocal, amazing core group of friends who shows up for me like I show up for them. From having the quiet desire to write a book, then judging the hell out of myself. Who the fuck am I to write a book? I don’t know anybody who’s written a book. I’ve never written a, I’ve never gotten a book published. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Doubting myself constantly, getting, I don’t have time.

getting stuck in perfectionism and then not taking any action. Two, getting a book deal with a top five publisher and launching my book last year. This is what this skillset of main character energy has helped me do. My life isn’t perfect. It’s expansive because of the skillset of main character energy. And the same is possible for you too. And as a feminist coach, I would be remiss to…

not acknowledge my own privilege that I bring to the table as a white woman with a ton of unearned privilege, who is also cisgender. I want to recognize that privilege has played a role in my story, both and I have seen over my life and after coaching hundreds of individuals with many intersecting identities, with many different varying levels of privilege, that the skill set of main character energy works across the board.

Lily @ Date Brazen (13:27.519)

So this isn’t just something that worked for me. It has been proven to work with my clients of a huge diverse set to build lives that they freaking love, to build a life that is more than just fine, to build a life that is more than just people pleasing all of the time. So when you have the skillset of main character energy, you release people pleasing as your default and you make extraordinary partnership, friendship and work life inevitable. Why now?

Okay, why fucking now? Because later is where self abandonment hides because you are not dead yet. My gorgeous friend. I’m going to say that again into the mic. You’re not dead yet. Okay. Your life isn’t over. Period. So you want something it’s not here yet. Let’s fucking go. That’s my motto. Because as humans, we’re meant to grow. And this is your invitation. Because the version of you who keeps shrinking

Overgiving and second guessing is not the one who gets what they want in their next chapter. Because six months from now, you could still be hustling to prove your worth and people pleasing to keep safe, or be six months into a life that feels stupidly joyful, wildly honest, and yours. This is a Mary Oliver quote that has been driving me for some time. Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with this one wild and precious life? Main character energy, as I…

shared earlier, it’s a skill set. And here’s how I define it. It’s taking center stage in your own life, owning what you want without apology and asking for it out loud. Approaching cute people with ease is an example. Taking care of yourself with the utmost compassion. It is acknowledging that you are in charge and capable of creating the coolest life imaginable. This isn’t something that you’re born with. Main character energy is a skill that you can learn, practice and own.

And it’s what you need to stop defaulting to people pleasing. And when you do, your whole fucking life will change. Here’s what you need to do. This is where we get into the nuts and bolts. I’m gonna take a sip of water. You’re gonna get out a pen and paper.

Lily @ Date Brazen (15:36.287)

Okay, are you ready? Here’s the skill set of main character energy. It’s three things, three steps to the skill set of main character energy. Number one, permission. Number two, self-trust. Number three, massive messy action. Let’s get into each of these and unpack what they look like in practice. These steps make it possible to stop people pleasing and to believe stupidly fucking joyful life. Permission, so.

You’ve been people pleasing for so long, you might not even call it that. You just think that being tired all the time is your normal, okay? You haven’t given yourself permission to want more than survival mode, more than fine. Maybe because doing so would be breaking legacies of people in your life, family members in your life who literally had to settle in order to survive. And this is an invitation.

to begin a new chapter and to break legacies of people in your life who had to accept less and who chose to accept less for whatever reason, you get to step into your permissive season now.

Lily @ Date Brazen (16:47.585)

Here’s what this looks like when you don’t have permission yet. And let me know, like put in the chat, which of these, when it hits, let me know like, that hit, here’s why. Or if you have a question, let me know in the chat. Before permission, you probably shut your dreams down before they can breathe, thinking that’s too much, that’s unrealistic, who do I think I am? So you stay safe by playing small and call it being practical.

You second guess yourself constantly, but it’s not even your voice. It’s your mom’s judgment, your boss’s expectations, that ex who made you feel like you were always too much and they’re still living rent free in your head. Yep, small dreams. Okay, got it. Ashley, Kim, Michelle, yeah, playing small is what I do. You’re not alone and we’re here to change that. Maybe you feel broken for wanting more and guilty for not being satisfied.

You keep trying to logic your way out of your desires, saying, I should just be grateful. I don’t even have time for this. But the longing doesn’t go away. It just gets heavier and you keep trying to push it away and it keeps getting heavier. Kalia second guess for sure. Yep. You’re not alone. You stay busy because rest feels dangerous. Everyone needs you. And if they don’t, you don’t know who you are. So you

pour out yourself on autopilot and call it love, but underneath you’re exhausted, resentful, and feel like you’re disappearing. You spent enough of your life waiting for permission, and now it’s time to give it to yourself. This means untangling the patriarchal conditioning that taught you how to be small to survive. This means giving yourself the permission to acknowledge what you want your richest life to look and feel like.

Yep, true to your rest is dangerous. Totally get that, really understandable. You’re not alone and you’re in the right place. Here’s the after building the skill of permission and like how to do it. You will stop asking for approval. You can stop waiting to be picked to feel worthy. You will stop performing worthiness through self-sacrifice. Ooh, do you feel called out? I would have if I had heard that. You need to stop.

Lily @ Date Brazen (19:07.361)

performing your worthiness through self-sacrifice. Burnout is essentially disengaging from your needs in order to perform the way you were socialized to perform, right? You were socialized to be exhausted because that keeps you from disrupting the status quo, from disrupting established orders of power. And so you have learned to perform your worthiness through self-sacrifice. It’s understandable. And it’s time to end that pattern.

You will give yourself permission to break the cycle of people pleasing. Here’s the deal. Even if it’s messy, clumsy, or wildly uncomfortable at first, a lot of y’all are not trying because it’s uncomfortable and you think that makes it wrong. A lot of you aren’t trying messily, and we’ll talk about that in a moment, because you’ve organized your identity around being excellent at something immediately.

And so doing it messy and imperfectly feels unsafe emotionally because you’re not good at it yet. Who am I if I’m not good at it yet? But you need to give yourself permission to try messily at learning something new. You will let it be awkward. Let it be imperfect. Let it be new. Let this pattern of giving yourself permission to want what you want, giving yourself permission to lay down for a second, giving yourself permission to fill in the blank, let it be awkward.

Because staying small was never actually safer, it was just familiar. And you give yourself permission to not be good at this yet and try it anyway. Does this resonate, this idea of like, like give yourself permission to not be good at this right now and to be learning something new. You will say yes to your desires without over explaining. That’s the power of permission. You will say no without spiraling. You will make decisions without needing a panel of people to approve them. And you will finally become the decider in your life.

This will neutralize the paralyzing fear of judgment and failure to survive. You can finally prioritize yourself, have more fulfilling relationships, and go from just fine to an epic life with this one skill of permission. Here’s an example of a client whose story literally brings me to tears. Thinking of Jackie is very emotional for me because

Lily @ Date Brazen (21:30.291)

When we first spoke, when we got on a sales, because she applied for main character life, she got on a sales call with me that was unhurried to just explore whether or not this was right for her. Jackie was feeling completely burnt out and was out of touch with her once. At a job where she was the go-to person at all times, taking care of everyone else’s needs and living, physically living in a place that no longer felt joyful. This is what she shared. So much of what has transpired for me over the course of the last four years,

has left me feeling really unmoored. I couldn’t process because I was just in survival mode. Then Jackie joined the mastermind and learned the skill of permission. So I wanna reaffirm for you, if this feels really far away, this invitation to stop people pleasing, like full stop, just that invitation alone, if that feels far away, know that you’re not alone. Jackie literally laughed at me.

when we hopped on the phone for main character life was like, LOL, Lily, you think my life can be better than it is right now? I’m just exhausted. I can’t even see straight. But then she had this gut pull, this heart pull to join us. And she did. She gave herself permission to learn something new. She gave herself permission to untangle all the hustle culture and pressure that she’d learned to survive. A lot of it we talked about in this pot in a podcast episode that I recorded with her. She talked about this.

familial pressure that she had learned from a young age to be excellent at everything and hustle, hustle, hustle in order to survive and be accepted. She needed to untangle that in a safe container. She gave herself permission to set boundaries imperfectly, gave herself permission to take her needs off the back burner, gave herself permission to become the priority. She showed up for coaching imperfectly.

she literally laid down for several of our sessions. I looked at her in the Zoom room and I was like, Jackie, I think what it sounds like you need is to turn off your video and to literally just lay down and receive in this coaching session. Literally laid down for several of our sessions. She went through the discomfort of trying something new and cared for her nervous system along the way.

Lily @ Date Brazen (23:47.371)

with the tools that we teach. She allowed herself to be uncomfortable and take action rooted in what she wanted versus the expectation of others. And then Jackie healed her burnout. She left her job. She started her consulting business that she’d wanted to for years. She moved full-time to Europe and figured out how to do that. She attracted sexy dates and received thousands in grant funding in just six months.

This is what Jackie said, after just six months, I feel centered in my own life. I’m less concerned about how my decisions impact my roles in other people’s lives. I feel like I’m walking now instead of crawling. Can you think a burnt out person could do all this? No, because when you’re burnt out, you’re not engaged with your needs enough. And so when you re-engage with your needs as the priority and learn a framework to engage those needs effectively without continuing to burn out with a self prioritization to do list, right?

When you do it effectively, you are more in touch with what you want and you start attracting more of what you want. So this program gave me a place to lay down as an act of love and compassion for myself. And that approximation is a declaration of my liberation. I’m more and more excited about the prospects on the horizon and the opportunity to participate in my own life story. You need to write yourself a permission slip right now. I have permission to learn something new.

Write yourself that permission slip. I have permission to try something new, to learn something new. I have permission to grow. I have permission to build a life that I can’t even imagine right now. Okay? Then we get into step number two, self-trust. Self-trust. So here’s the deal. You probably don’t center your, you don’t trust yourself yet. So you outsource in your life. You ask for everyone else’s input.

You replay old mistakes like cautionary tales in your head as like evidence of why you’re not trustworthy. You second guess your own instincts until they go quiet and it’s time to change that. So before the skill of self trust, again, it’s a skill. It is not just something that other people have and that you can’t have. You judge yourself for the past like it’s a personality flaw. Every misstep becomes evidence that you’re not ready, not responsible or not cut out for this.

Lily @ Date Brazen (26:11.731)

Instead of learning, you punish. And then you wonder why you feel stuck. You ask everyone else what they think and then feel even more confused. One friend says, go for it. One says, wait. One sends you a six minute voice memo with full of a pros and cons list. And you are anxiously ruminating on the right next step. What’s the right next step? What’s the right next step? Meaning you don’t make a move.

You obsess over decisions like your life depends on getting them right. You ruminate for days over small stuff. You Google everything. You draft the text and don’t send it. You reread the email five times. Your brain is tired and your nervous system is fried. Okay? You pour into everyone else’s dreams and abandon your own. You’re the supportive one, the reliable one, the go you hype squad.

But when it’s your turn to ask for support, you don’t. You’re not living in reciprocity. You’re running a one-person emotional labor department. You treat your desires like liabilities. You downplay what you want so you won’t be disappointed. You pre-reject yourself so no one else gets the chance. You think if you fail again, it’ll confirm the worst things you already believe about yourself so you don’t even try.

You call it just being realistic, but it’s really self doubt. So you stay stuck. And this relates to people pleasing because if you don’t trust yourself, of course you would default to what everybody else wants you to do. Of course you would default to making decisions rooted in other people’s comfort as opposed to making decisions rooted in your own self trust because you don’t have the skill of self trust yet. Self trust is essentially coming home to yourself.

It’s a learnable, buildable skill. Which of these like really hit home for you? So you judge yourself for the past, you ask everyone else what they think, you obsess over decisions, anxiously ruminating, you pour into everyone else’s dreams and it’s time to learn the skill of self-trust.

Lily @ Date Brazen (28:27.411)

Here’s how, okay? Here’s the after and how. You start small. Y’all think that building self-trust is this big grand gesture. Like I only have perfect thoughts about myself and I only think great things and I only have complete self-trust if I’m gonna have self-trust at all. No, no, no, no, no. You have to start smaller, smaller and you let self-trust grow from there. You make one decision for you and you don’t apologize for it and you let that be the ripple effect starter.

It can be as simple as going to the bathroom when you need to. It can be as simple as texting a friend, hey, are you free to chat? Even though you know that it’s a little inconvenient for them because you really need to talk or you really need support. It’s texting your therapist, hey, can we have a session this week? I know that I said I didn’t need one, but I actually kind of do. And I just wanted to ask, right? It’s like making one little decision to trust yourself instead of playing small.

You allow it to be new and uncomfortable and you notice then how good it feels afterward to have your back, even if you have complicated feelings, even if it’s a both and of like, you wanna throw up and it feels kinda good and you’re proud of yourself. You need to track it and you need to celebrate it. That’s why in the mastermind, I am going to help you track your self-trusting decisions along the way so you see.

the mountain that you’re climbing actively, instead of making decisions and then gaslighting yourself and saying, I don’t have self trust because I don’t have it completely. No, no, no, I want to track that shit so you actually see that self trust is building in real time. You stop spiraling over every decision when you have the skillset of self trust. You will stop pulling your group chat like your life depends on it. You will stop editing yourself to stay liked. Instead,

You start making choices that feel good in your body. Small choice by small choice, it will grow. You will start trusting your yes and honoring your no. You will pursue what you want without apology. You’ll no longer ask, is this allowed? You’ll stop waiting for a guarantee before you leap, because you know you’re safe, because you’ve got self-trust, because you trust yourself to figure it out, because no matter what, you’ll have your own back.

Lily @ Date Brazen (30:46.891)

You’ll realize that what you want isn’t so fragile. You won’t get what you want if you stop yourself from wanting it and going after it. You’re kind of already living the worst case scenario of not getting what you want. So why not try something new? Why not start building this skill set a little bit by little bit, choice by choice and tracking it and celebrating it like it matters because it does. Learning the skill of self-trust makes taking big risks and even small risks.

emotionally safe, which is what you need to move forward quickly, then your life will become subtle proof. So the reason why it’s difficult to take big risks right now, it’s difficult to trust yourself right now is because it doesn’t feel emotionally safe yet. So that’s where nervous system work comes in. That’s where the practice of main character energy comes in. It’s like a buildable skill set that you need to practice. And ideally, with a group of people who are doing it with you, so you know you’re not alone and you move forward faster because you’re normalized.

Okay, I hear you in your head, in my head. Let me know if this is what you’re thinking about. Lily, but Lily, great. I hear what you’re saying. Great. Sounds great. Sounds great. So cool. So cool that you’re saying all this, but what if I’m just not trustworthy? What if I’m the only person in this room of dozens of people, right? That I’m just not trustworthy. I’m the one who’s different. You don’t get it. You don’t know me. Yeah. I have years of evidence that make

that I make bad decisions that have led to miserable outcomes. Did you have this thought? Like, Lily, you just don’t get it. I’m uniquely unqualified to build self-trust. Okay, so here’s what I would say to that, right? First, yeah, you’ve made decisions you wouldn’t make again. Welcome to being human. And you need to be open to learning something new.

Pushing yourself isn’t getting you anywhere. Punishing yourself isn’t getting you anywhere, my gorgeous friend. This is your one wild and precious life and it’s time to learn a new way forward. Here’s Laura’s story. Laura felt majorly stuck but didn’t realize people pleasing was leading to her paralysis. She had a business idea she deeply wanted to pursue but kept stuffing it into a drawer, afraid there was too much. She wasn’t ready, it was too risky.

Lily @ Date Brazen (33:11.756)

She was trying to protect herself from other people’s judgment by never letting herself be seen. And every time she didn’t act, she’d blame herself. It was like a vicious cycle. And this only deepened the shame spiral and kept her frozen. Then Laura learned the skill of self-trust. She built self-trust by doing it scared and doing it anyway. She stopped shaming herself for not doing enough and started noticing the tiny wins.

She asked for support even when her brain screamed, don’t be a burden. Nobody wants to hear it, it’s too much. She asked for support anyway. She shared her business idea out loud for the first time in community. She stopped over researching and started experimenting messily. She made one brave ask. She practiced nervous system care. She practiced like the tools to create emotional safety, self-compassion.

you know, how to feel anything like she works this skillset of self-trust. So she made a brave ask. She probably freaked out then asked another brave ask got coached when things got vulnerable and hard. Then she launched the damn thing. She realized she didn’t need to be more ready. She needed to learn the skill of self-trust inside of a space that wouldn’t let her abandon herself again. Laura launched her newsletter in business.

She got invited to speak at events. She traveled around the world full of self-trust just for joy and fun to connect with her friends and build her business along the way. And she got her first clients. Again, after years of stuffing this dream into a drawer. I feel like I belong to myself. This is what she said. I feel at home in my body and that everything I want, desire, need and deserve is within my reach. That I am worthy of having it all. I feel super strong.

calm and secure within myself. I’m able to lean into my dreams and go after what I want and it’s such a nice feeling to embody myself.

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So the third step, third and final step in the framework of main character energy to stop people pleasing and build a stupidly joyful life is massive messy action. Let me know in the chat before we move on to massive messy action, what are your reflections on self-trust? What are your thoughts? Like what’s coming up for you around self-trust? Let me know if this is resonating. Yeah, see obsessing over decisions, asking everyone else what they think. What would be different about your life if you trusted yourself?

You’re not stuck because you’re lazy. You’re stuck because you’ve been waiting for perfect conditions. You don’t take the leap because you think you’re not ready or you’re afraid of looking foolish or you’re scared of being told no. So you stay in the same job, the same situationship, the same fine routine that secretly drains the life out of you. Let’s change that. Okay. And if I had self-trust, I wouldn’t be afraid to try new things. That’s why we’re going to build that skill set.

in the mastermind, in this work, like that’s why we do this. Because what you want is possible, it’s on the other side of just learning something new. So let’s get into massive messy action. Before massive messy action, here’s what it looks like. And I want you to pay attention to which of these feels most like you. You’re stuck in your comfort zone, but it’s not actually comfortable. It’s just familiar, predictable, flat. You’ve turned preparation into procrastination.

You don’t shoot your shot because rejection feels unbearable. You try to self care and treat yourself your way out of stuckness and burnout, wondering why you still feel really burnt out after a beautiful vacation, why you still feel burnt out after your weekly massage. You either over function, AKA hustle and then burnout, or you under function, AKA watch TV on your couch every day and you feel stuck.

You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need the support and accountability to move while you’re still shaking, okay? The results, you will have a roadmap to getting exactly what you want, rooted in permission, anchored in self-trust, and fueled by massive, messy action. That is how you build confident main character energy.

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But Lily, I’ve taken massive messy action before it blew up in my face. How will this be any different? With permission, self-trust and massive messy action, no matter what happens, you know how to move through anything. No setback, no rejection will keep you down because as I mentioned a moment ago, if you’re aware that you want more from this one wild and precious life and you’re stuck in…

lack of self-trust, in self-blame and indecision, in burnout, you’re already kind of living the worst case scenario, right? The only way that you don’t get what you want is if you stop going for it. If you don’t allow yourself in the first place to go for it. And with this framework of permission, self-trust, massive messy action, you have a rinse repeatable system to go after and get what you want.

The only way you will fail is if you shrink or stop. You will have your own back. Your life is finally centered around you and not your ex, your mom, your coworker, your friends’ opinions of you. I want to repeat something I said about 30 minutes ago. You’re not dead yet. We’re all gonna die. You’re not dead yet. This is your one wild and precious life. And I am very serious about you having more from this one wild and precious life because I’ve seen from coaching hundreds of people over the last seven years.

that what you want is on the other side of main character energy, period. After the skillset of main character energy, after massive messy action, you feel proud of yourself. You will feel peace daily at your new level of self-trust. You will move forward from a good enough to a great fucking life. This looks like flirting with abandon, shooting your shot, asking people out and attracting amazing dates without mind drama.

setting boundaries with ease. You will have more time and pleasure in your schedule. You will have a core group of friends who reciprocates. You start that business. You quit your soul sucking job. You move across the country because it’s what you’ve always wanted to do. Your life is subtle proof. Even if you don’t have a huge goal in mind, what if your whole life was subtle proof and it was centered around your pleasure and joy instead of people pleasing and burnout? Let me give you an example, okay? Diana,

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was caregiving and people pleasing on autopilot. Her job in healthcare, in her family, in her dating life, she was constantly taking care of everyone else’s needs and she was exhausted. She was also taught to be a good woman. She had to do the caregiving for everyone else first before she got to sit down or lay down, which meant that she never got to sit down or lay down because everybody else’s needs were always taking up so much space in her life. She was exhausted, burnt out.

and resentful, but she didn’t feel like she had permission to do anything differently. Taking action on what she wanted felt selfish. So she stayed stuck. Then Diana joined us in the mastermind and learned the skill of permission, self-trust and massive messy action. Diana stopped making every decision based on what would keep the peace. She was the peacekeeper for everybody else. And she just decided, you know what?

What if I didn’t have to play that role in my life anymore? She got real about how much she’d been abandoning herself to stay likable, helpful, and low maintenance. Because in her mind, love, affection, belonging came from being low maintenance, but it actually was the opposite. By being low maintenance, she wasn’t getting the belonging that she really desired. She wasn’t getting the support that she really desired. She was holding herself back.

from getting her needs met because of the fear of being cast out. Really normal fear, but with learning the skill of main character energy, she was able to flip that. We helped her get curious about what she actually wanted, not what her job, her family, or her past said about what she should want. She took one small brave step, then another, even when it felt messy. She didn’t need to be less emotional or more chill.

She needed a space where she could finally be honest, build self-trust, and stop people pleasing her way into burnout. Diana, after six months of consistently showing up for herself in this mastermind, quit her soul-sucking job, got a new job with better pay and a burnout-free schedule by her design, traveled solo joyfully, something she had never done before, attracted sexy dates and shot her shot and set boundaries like she never had before.

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and created deep friendships that she had never had before.

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You might be saying to yourself, okay, Lily, that sounds great for you and your clients, but what about me? Can I do this? Yes, inside of my mastermind main character life, you fucking can. So this is the moment where I share more about main character life. This is my proven small group, six month mastermind where you are going to release people pleasing, build rock solid self-trust and become the main character of your whole life in six months or less.

So here are the four types of people that main character life was built for. And I would love to hear in the chat which of these types describes you. If there are multiple types that describe you, let me know. So number one out of four types, the people pleaser perfectionist. Before main character life, you’re the friend who remembers everyone’s birthdays, organizes the group chat, always says yes, even when you’re burning out.

You double check your emails three times before sending and spiral for hours if you think someone’s disappointed in you. Rest feels like guilt, not relief. After main character life, you will stop performing your worth and start protecting your piece. You say no without apologizing, put your phone on do not disturb without over explaining, and finally start that creative project without waiting for everything to be perfect. You’re still thoughtful, but now you include yourself.

in the circle of Number two, the late bloomer who’s done just being the best friend. Four, you’re the emotional rock, the cheerleader, the one who always shows up. You’ve watched others get chosen while you quietly hold space, hoping it’ll be your turn soon. You’re generous, brilliant, and full of love, but you keep shrinking to fit into everyone else’s story after main character life.

You stop waiting to be chosen. You update your dating profile with your actual fucking standards and do that IRL as well. You ask for what you want and you go after the job or opportunity you used to talk yourself out of. You speak your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. You’re not the sidekick anymore. You’re the damn lead, okay? Number three, the self-doubter who’s ready to stop playing small. Before, you’re full of ideas.

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but you second guess every single one of them. You write brilliant things you never post, rehearse what you should have said in meetings, and wonder if you’re not just cut out for it. Who am I to do this? Is stuck on repeat in your head. After main character life, you will start trusting yourself more than your fear. You launch the offer, raise your rates, share your voice before you feel ready. You move first and let confidence catch up.

you will stop shrinking, you will take up space and people finally start hearing you. Number four, the quiet dreamer who’s ready to take center stage. Before, you’ve got big ideas, secret dreams and a voice that’s more powerful than you let on, but you stay quiet, journaling in the margins, afraid to be too much or not enough. You hope someone will see your magic without you having to claim it. After,

You stop waiting for permission. You speak up. You share the art, write the post, ask the bold question. You take the stage literally or metaphorically and you let yourself be seen. Your dreams don’t live on your notes app anymore. They’re out in the world and people are paying attention. In six months with us, you can stop saying yes just to keep the peace and start saying hell no without the guilt hangover.

Learn how to lovingly but firmly get your people to stop treating you like the family fixer, the work mom, or the go-to strong one. Rest without explaining yourself. Take up space without apologizing. You don’t just seem like you have it together. You’ll actually feel at home in your own life. Here is what’s included in main character life. We have the main character life curriculum, virtual day-long kickoff retreat, three times per month intimate group coaching with me,

main character life workbook, daily coaching and Slack, friendship building hub, the 100 days project and monthly one-on-one main character reviews. All of that support for six luxurious, impactful as hell months where your whole life is gonna change. The investment is one full payment of 6K or a payment plan, six payments of a thousand dollars.

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A percentage of each membership will go to the Loveland Foundation, which provides free therapy for black women and girls around the US. So let’s get into what’s included. Each step is so powerful. The main character life curriculum from our people pleasing detox, we spend a month doing an intensive, joyful people pleasing detox where you are going to.

to identify all of the places in your life you’re currently outsourcing your desires, you’re currently shrinking what you want to be safe or to be comfortable. And then we’re gonna start setting boundary parties. Okay, so we’re gonna start celebrating where you plug up the people pleasing leaks in your life. Then in month two, we move on to your life essence based preferences. Life essence based preferences are creating a rubric, a decision making rubric unique to you and what you want.

in this one wild and precious life, how you want to feel in every domain of your life, work, love life, friendship life, your money life, your relationship with yourself. We’re going to identify how you wanna feel in each of those domains, create a life essence based preferences rubric so that you don’t overthink your decisions anymore. You have a rubric to measure every single decision against so you’re in your main character energy. And then we move on to the 100 dares project, which I’m gonna tell more about in a moment.

Every month builds on the last to ensure that you leave with the skills, courage, and momentum to keep going years after the program ends. Across the six months, you’re gonna rewire how you show up in your life, setting boundaries, asking for more, making time for what truly matters, and expanding your vision beyond what you thought was possible. With a mix of mindset shifts, high impact challenges for me, and full on accountability in this small group.

You’ll not only dream bigger, you’re going to live bigger, okay? The virtual kickoff retreat. This is where everything changes on May 17th, less than a month away. We’re gonna gather on a Saturday from 12 to 4 p.m. You are going to go deep. For the first time, you are gonna step into a virtual room that is filled with people who get it, who have spent years overthinking and shrinking and feeling behind people who are

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done playing small and who are ready to take up space. In the kickoff retreat, you’re gonna learn the core foundations of being character energy. I’m gonna dive deep into these topics, into the nervous system care skills and into our framework. So you stop waiting and start owning your life immediately. You will connect with your collective of powerful, feminist, brilliant, ambitious humans, women and people socialized as women who are walking this path with you. You’re gonna feel for maybe the first time what it’s like to be in a space where your dreams aren’t too much.

They’re celebrated. Intimate group coaching three times a month. This is our recording, because you get a recording of every session. Wednesdays at 5 p.m. Eastern, we coach. We do three weeks on, one week rest, so you can integrate these life-changing lessons. Every single week, you are going to step into an intimate, high-impact coaching space, where you’re gonna prioritize yourself, get unstuck fast, and take action toward your dream life. You will be surrounded by people who,

see your potential, push you forward and you actually get it. So three times a month group coaching, breakout rooms for instant belonging and replays for every call. If you can’t make every call, that’s okay. You don’t have to do this perfectly to still get epic results. Here’s a case study from Gabrielle. Investing in this mastermind exceeded my expectations. I was drawn to the program by a dream of being in a fierce coven of cheerleaders guided by Lily and her incredible feminist wisdom.

The program will empower you in ways you never thought possible. One of my favorite aspects of main character life is the deep support and friendship I’ve found with my coven of cheerleaders. It’s an incredible feeling to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who are dedicated to their personal growth and success. To sum up, main character life has truly changed my life. The main character life workbook.

This is your roadmap to radical self-trust, messy action and real transformation. It’s not just a workbook. It’s a step-by-step process to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing and self-doubt, build the exact mindset shifts that make main character energy second nature. And it’s where you’ll choose and commit to your hundred dayers project. The things that will change your life most in the next six months. Daily coaching in Slack. So you’re gonna, I’m going to…

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really hold you accountable to your dreams and this mastermind. I’m going to be holding you accountable to you living a bigger, more expansive life for you getting more of what you want, which will increase the quality of your life, which will mean you get more of what you want, which means that you move forward faster. Inevitably, fear and overwhelm are gonna pop up, self-doubt’s gonna pop up, because you’re human. Instead of spiraling alone,

You’ll drop into the Slack channel and get real coaching from me and the coaching team. Whether you’re freaking out because you just took a massive leap, like quitting your job or asking someone out. Whether you’re paralyzed by the fear of rejection and stuck in an action. Whether you’re feeling terrified because things are actually going well and you’re not used to it. We will coach your face off through it so you don’t stall out. The faster you move through your freak out, the faster you will get results. Friendship building hub. So your people are here.

My gorgeous friend, your people are fucking here. Inside of our private Slack community, you’ll have a space to ask questions, get support, and build real friendships with like-minded, ambitious, heart-centered people. No more feeling like the only one in your friend group who wants more, or the only one who wants to get out of the this is impossible conversation loop. You will find an accountability buddy who will hype you up and hold you to your dreams. You’ll celebrate your wins, big or small, with people who actually care.

You will be a part of a daily space where your transformation is normal and not something you have to explain.

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monthly one-on-one main character reviews. So this is an image of a private main character review that I did for a client this past round. In this room, nobody slips through the cracks. So every month, you are going to get a little form in your inbox. You’ll submit it to me where you’re stuck, what dreams you have for your main character dares project, what you wanna create in the next month. We’ll get back to you with a private video.

with the mindset work and strategy you need to implement for the next 30 days to get results. This means that everyone gets one-on-one coaching in addition to that bonus one-on-one call. This is a video that I make for you based on that form. Depending on what I’m coaching you on, can be anywhere from two minutes, like, okay, I see you’re doing the thing, you’re implementing the coaching that I gave you last time, keep going, to 10 minutes of like, okay, let’s dive deep, here’s what I want you to do. It’s additional one-on-one coaching that is.

private for you so you get even more results in the mastermind. The hundred dares project in month three you are going to build a hundred dares project with my help. These are the bold and life-changing moves that aligns with your deepest desires the things that you have known you’re meant to do but you haven’t fully pursued yet maybe you’ve been waiting for permission afraid of making the wrong choice or stuck in overthinking inside of main character life.

you’ll break through those blocks and finally take real, tangible action. Past main character dares have included launching a business that had been a someday dream for years. We broke that goal down into tangible dares that were related to their, really rooted in their life essence-based preferences. So it wasn’t just a hustly project, it was an aligned container and challenge to step into main character energy everywhere.

Maybe the dare that you want to complete is like dating with total confidence, flirting, initiating, showing up fully as yourself, writing a book or a newsletter and sharing it with the world, making the long dreamed about move to a new city or even country, taking up space creatively, starting a podcast, writing a book, pursuing artistic goals with confidence. We will guide you step by step and identifying the most powerful dares, crafting a clear plan and taking aligned action.

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all while rewiring your mindset so you trust yourself deeply along the way. You will build the self-trust, courage, and strategy to move forward with ease and confidence, knowing that you’re fully supported in this container. This means that no member slips through the cracks. Everyone in this room will get results and I will not allow otherwise because your main character energy is calling you to a bigger, more joyful life. It’s time to give yourself permission daily.

to build rock solid self trust, release people pleasing as your default, and to become the main character of your whole fucking life. In the chat, there is a link to apply. It is datebrazen.com slash mastermind. And keep those questions coming. I am here, I will be here as long as you have questions. And Annie is here too to support you.

So you are going to, if you’re interested, if you feel that heart pull, even if it’s a nervous, like shaky, maybe even if it’s a nervous, excited, I don’t know. that, my God, this is going to be such a different thing for me. I don’t know. want to see if right. You can apply, fill out a 10 minute application. It alone will increase your main character energy. Then if you’re a good fit, it’ll immediately send you a link to schedule a call or to just join us because we do have limited spots and we are going to fill up.

You can either join us if you’re in or you can schedule a call with me. That is no pressure where we can walk through like what’s going on, where are you stuck? And I will give you my honest assessment of whether or not this is right for you so that you know for certain and you won’t be waiting another six months, another 12 months. I had somebody on a call the other day who applied to main character life who I said like, so let’s say nothing changes. Six months from now, what?

What will life look like? And she was like, honestly, we would be on this call again. Like in six months, we would be on this call again because my heart is telling me that I need to do something different and this sounds aligned. So that’s what we discovered together on the call about like, is this the right next step for you? And if so, let’s fucking go. So again, five to 10 minute application that’ll deepen your main character energy. If you’re a good fit, you’ll schedule an unhurried sales call with me and you can join us and claim one of our limited spots.

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Here’s what life will look like after main character life. You’ve completed your main character dares, and when you look back at where you started, you barely recognize that version of you who was still waiting for permission. Now, you are the one giving the green lights. Your friends and family are saying things like, you just seem so different, like lit up, happier, more you. They’re not wrong. You are more alive, more grounded, more present than you’ve been in years.

There’s play, pleasure and joy threaded throughout your life. Not because your schedule magically cleared up, but because you did. You cleared the noise. You know what you want. You know you’re worthy of it. You ask for it, receive it regularly with ease and zero shame. You say yes with your full body. You say no without explanation. Your relationships feel mutual. Your time feels sacred and your decisions feel aligned. You are the main character now.

And it doesn’t mean life is perfect. It means it’s yours, fully unapologetically and finally. Here’s why you need it now. This is your loving and clear eyed wake up call because pushing through isn’t working anymore. Because putting everyone else’s needs first is quietly draining you. Because settling for fine is costing you time, energy and joy you can’t get back. You don’t need to burn it all down.

but you do need to stop waiting for permission to live fully. That deep self-trust, that sexiest hell relationship with your life, your voice, your people, your work, it’s not a someday thing, it’s built and it can be built now. The version of you who feels lit up, powerful and aligned, they’re not far off. They’re just on the other side of you saying yes to your main character energy era. How many people are in the small group? 30 maximum, 30 max. And everybody gets that.

one-on-one coaching and attention, especially with the bonus one-on-one call and with the one-on-one main character reviews and in our group coaching calls. When you raise your hand, you will get coached. And if you don’t get coached for whatever reason, you can’t make it, you will get coached for the 48 hours in our Slack channel. So let’s get into the frequently asked questions and keep keeping my like, what are your questions? What are you wondering? Because this is a big invitation.

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This is an invitation into your main character energy era and it is going to change your life. So let’s get into this. Do I even have time for this? All you need is 90 minutes a week, three weeks a month. That’s one movie’s worth of time for six months. This is built for your real life, not your fantasy one. You don’t need more time. You don’t need a better rhythm. We will help you find that for yourself. Is this really worth the money? So let’s unpack this.

Your inner accountant isn’t wrong, they’re just probably using an outdated spreadsheet. So let’s recalibrate. I want you to ask yourself, what is the cost of staying in a life where joy is optional and self abandonment is the default? ROI is not just about dollars, it’s about decisional power, emotional stamina and time not wasted anymore in spirals. Even a 10 % improvement in these areas,

is a compounding return for your life. Consider this, $200 on a weekend trip to escape your life, $300 on a course you never finish, 500 plus on therapy sessions where you’re stuck in the same conversation loop. I love therapy, I recommend therapy for all of my clients, both and it can be easy to get in therapy mode where you aren’t taking action. You’re just stuck in the conversation loop. Or $1,000 plus on a new wardrobe to look like somebody you don’t feel like on the inside.

This is not a luxury. It’s a redefinition of value. One where your joy, power and alignment are the ROI. If you’ve spent years investing in your survival, this is your first investment in your sovereignty and your thriving. I’m scared I’ll flake out or fall behind. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep going. This is designed for real life with built-in breathing room. You just need to keep going.

And I expect that you’re gonna fall behind because you’re human. That’s why I’ve created this mastermind the way I have. Let me outline it. This mastermind just takes 90 minutes a week, three weeks, three weeks per month. Now, sometimes you’re not gonna do the homework. That’s okay. Why? Because you get monthly one-on-one main character video reviews. So you always know what to focus on no matter where you’re at. If you’ve missed a week, you can ask for a custom catch-up plan in Slack and I’ll tell you exactly what to do.

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in 10 minutes to an hour, depending on where you’re at in the process to get you back in the game. You can’t fall behind because we built this program for momentum, not pressure. What if I don’t have a big dream yet? Katie didn’t either. And here’s what happened next. On our sales call, Katie said that her friends would be shocked to hear that she didn’t feel like the main character in her life. She built a beautiful life because of her ambition, her friends, her therapy.

And she knew that she was in her comfort zone most of the time. Playing small, feeling good enough wasn’t good anymore.

In our sales call, she realized she wanted a bigger shift in her life, much bigger than a month long vacation could provide. So she joined us. We co-created her main character, Dare’s project to get out of her comfort zone and build an epic life. Her custom project was about daily joy building and building a new core group of friends. With the tools in this program, she gave herself permission to go out solo all the time, something she had been nervous to do before.

She felt no more shame about being single and doing things solo. Instead, she felt self celebratory. She asked for and received a paid sabbatical at work, something that was new for her company. Nobody had ever done this before. She was able to spend a glorious month in Europe later that year. She said, I feel like a different person with the mastermind of unpacked some of the stories and baggage that held me back that isn’t there anymore. I’m feeling so much more comfortable and confident in who I am.

At the end of the program, I realized that every activity I had that week was with new friends that I didn’t know before the program. I got what I wanted and I didn’t have to force it. That’s really powerful. And that’s possible when you feel led to join us and you decide to join us and you make it happen and you allow yourself to be supported at this level. I hear you asking here. This asked a lot actually, what if you don’t trust yourself to make this investment?

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Like, what if you, how do you trust yourself to make this investment when you don’t yet trust yourself? You don’t need perfect self-trust to still change your life. You just need a single shaky yes, one after another. The whisper of maybe this could help. This sounds really resonant, really aligned, really exciting is enough. You don’t need to build self-trust by overthinking more. You build self-trust in massive messy action and main character energy everywhere.

by doing things that honor your future self, even when it’s scary. This is not a course that you’re gonna forget to log into. It is a coaching experience that meets you every day, wherever you are, and holds you as you rise. This investment is deep. It’s a declaration that your desires matter, that your energy matters, that your time on this planet matters. This room will teach you how to trust yourself in every area of your life.

your relationships, your money, your boundaries, your creative expression, your worth. It’s a buildable skillset that you will hone in this room. And this is a decision you will not make alone. When you apply, if you’re a good fit, we’ll hop on an unhurried joyful sales call together and I’ll help you discern that this is the right space for you right now. Can’t I figure this out on my own? Maybe, but how’s that working so far? This isn’t about capability. I know you’re capable as hell. It’s about capacity.

It’s about accountability and community. I don’t think you need to DIY your healing, clarity, or leadership skills anymore, or main character energy. You get to choose to be held, challenged, witnessed, and cheered on the whole way through. That is how you get there faster, deeper, and way more supported. Who doesn’t this work for? This program does not work if you don’t want to be coached. If you want to join, but you

resist being supported at every level, or if you avoid coaching, you don’t ask questions, you shut down every time things get uncomfortable, it’s gonna be really hard to shift. If you expect results from just being passive, this isn’t a passive course, it’s a high touch experience built on action, integration, and honest self-reflection. If you don’t engage at all, you won’t see the change you’re craving. This program works when you do the work, and I only let people in who I know I can get results for.

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And there’s a big difference between my life is really busy. Will this work for me? Yes. Our members are doctors, lawyers, single mothers who are so fucking busy. It’s not a matter of busy. It’s a matter of just showing up and getting support and allowing it to be imperfect. You’re still going to get massive results. If you don’t show up at all ever, then…

you’re not gonna get results. You need to just show up imperfectly to get results. That’s literally all you need to do. On our sales call, I’m not just listening for your goals, I’m listening for coachability. If I don’t think this program is right for you, I will lovingly tell you, I have not accepted other people in the past, because it just doesn’t sound like they’re ready for this or that this is the right next step. That’s why this room feels brave, because the people for whom this is right for, it is so right for. And that kind of collective…

means that you’re gonna have instant belonging with the people in your cohort. You’re gonna make friends pretty quickly if you allow yourself to show up and you will get results. Results are inevitable when this feels like an aligned yes. Not because my clients are perfect, not because they did every single workbook exercise, they didn’t, not because they never doubted themselves. They got results because they were coachable and they showed up imperfectly.

What’s the difference between main character dating and main character life? These are my two programs. Main character dating is for late bloomers where we teach you how to attract the right partner with a joyful dating life. It’s 12 months, it’s self-paced, it’s a joyful as hell journey. If your growth edge is just dating and confidence and self-love in your dating life, then do main character dating. Main character life mastermind.

is for ambitious heart-led women and people socialized as women craving a full life transformation. It’s six months, it’s a small group, it’s a high accountability container. You’re gonna move forward really fast. If your growth edge is like your whole life is asking for more, you feel burnt out to a crisp and you don’t know what to do about it, main character life is for you. If I have clients to do both and the glow up is accelerated and real, so you don’t have to choose between these two.

Lily @ Date Brazen (01:09:41.897)

And if you’re already in main character dating, you have a special invitation in your inbox with some bonuses if you want to join main character life. And if you’re choosing between the two, I want you to use this rubric of like, is dating the growth edge or is everything in your life asking for your main character energy? When are the calls? Nuts and bolts. Weekly calls on Wednesday from five to six PM Eastern. Our cadence is three weeks on, one week rest for six months. All calls are recorded.

and put into your portal. So if you need to miss a session, can catch up there. The weekly workbook takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, depending on the topic, depending on how much time you have. There’s zero perfectionistic expectation. In fact, peek in the kickoff retreat. I’m gonna say, I love the workbook. The workbook is so beautiful. I spent so many hours honing it and making it excellent. And also fuck the workbook. It’s like so fun to say fuck the workbook because this is not about perfectionistic effort.

This is about showing up, doing what you can and still getting results. Everything inside of main character life is built for you to get results, even if you fall behind sometimes. And you can dive into our bonus trainings like give fewer fucks training, asking for what you want training whenever you need them. When do we start? May 17th, Saturday, May 17th. And our first regular call is on Wednesday, May 21st at 5 p.m. Eastern. And September is a month off from calls. It’s an integration month.

So we have from May till November to get coached and get results because I’m doing something pretty main character energy in September and we’ll give you all of the next steps that you need to integrate in that month. And you can have happy hours with your fellow members and pick right back up with your 100 dares project with our weekly group coaching session. So it’s actually a seven month long container with six months of group coaching.

We currently cap the mastermind at 30 members. So how do you make sure that this coaching room is a good space or a safe space or a brave space? So I’ve intentionally built this program to help folks in pursuing the fuck out of their most confident, self-trusting lives. And we only accept folks who are a good fit for this community. You must be in alignment with our company values that are progressive. So in the application, you have to check a box that says,

Lily @ Date Brazen (01:12:07.333)

Here are our values. Do these align with your values or not? And if they don’t, you’re not the right fit for this mastermind. Our values are that love is love, that trans women are women, that, you know, basically like we are people that want people who are women and people socialize as women to thrive. And we’re unapologetic about our progressive values in this space. So trans lives matter, black lives matter.

Love is love. And that’s where we’re at. And that’s something that we’re checking against in so that this is a brave coaching space for all who decide to join us wherever you’re at. We also have really clear community guidelines. We use inclusive language and introduce ourselves with gender pronouns in every group coaching call and Slack. We hold space and don’t give advice except for me and the co-coach.

And I am the one leading all of the group coaching calls and doing your main character reviews. And I am in Slack every single day. team members, fellow members of the program will lift you up. And the only people who can give advice are me and the coaching team. We value many paths and we do not condone homophobia, transphobia or racism of any kind. Incidences of this behavior will result in dismissal from the program. Okay, I’ve done other programs that didn’t work.

If you’ve done other programs that didn’t work, maybe you never took action because other courses or programs didn’t have enough support. That’s why I have the one-on-one bonus. That’s why I have the monthly main character reviews. That’s why we have coaching in Slack daily with a 48 hour response time. That’s why we do weekly group coaching. That’s why I’ve created the custom catch-up plan just to create so many touch points of accountability and support throughout your main character energy journey.

Maybe that room that you were in that didn’t get your results was filled with people you didn’t relate to. Maybe the values inside of other programs were out of alignment with your own. Inside of main character life, you will get results I will not allow otherwise. You will have accountability and support daily and weekly for six months. Imagine prioritizing yourself on your calendar with our calls, having a coach who is helping you play bigger and a community inspiring the hell out of you every single day.

Lily @ Date Brazen (01:14:29.091)

That’s how you will get results. Monthly main character reviews mean one-on-one support every month with a video delivered to your inbox. The questions in the workbook alone are life-changing. This level of community belonging, coaching, and support will change your life for good. It will mean that you are drenched in confidence and taking big delicious life risks with more ease. What if my life is too messy right now? Perfect timing is a myth.

And your life being a little chaotic is the exact moment to start. If you feel that heart pull, that nervous, excited, maybe, yes, you don’t need absolute clarity to begin. That’s what we create in the mastermind. You just need support while you’re in this life moment. This isn’t wait till you’re ready. This is start where you are and let this be the thing that helps you get to where you want. What you want exists and is for you. And with this level of support,

coaching, community, and strategy. The bonus is that you become a magnet for the best friendships, dates, work opportunities, and more. If you’re skeptical about investing in this support, know this. You’ve never been in this program before. You’ve never been coached by me before at this level. You’ve never had feminist curriculum like this before. You’ve never made courageous changes and taken massive messy action like we do in this room.

And you’ve never experienced the coven of cheerleaders, the support of other badass feminist humans in this room. This shit works, even if nothing else has. So let’s fucking do this. It’s time to expand, baby. So it’s time to let your desires take up more space. And the invitation is on the table. And if you feel led to join us, what you need to ask yourself is how supported can I stand to let myself be? Based on how applications have been coming in,

This cohort will fill up. So if you want a spot, want you to get a spot to join us. You need to apply by May 2nd. All right, y’all. Thank you so much for being here. Can’t wait to talk to you very soon and go take a main character energy deep breath.

Lily @ Date Brazen (01:16:38.693)

Ugh, write yourself a big old permission slip. I have permission to try something new. I have permission to be supported like I never have been before. I have permission to lay down on the floor right after this call. I have permission to apply for main character life. This is just the beginning. So talk to you very soon. Bye. Thanks for listening to the Date-Brazen podcast. If you liked this episode, then you’re gonna freaking love my book. Thank you more, please. It’s my proven step-by-step feminist guide

to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love. You can buy it anywhere books are sold and then get a juicy bonus at datefrazen.com slash book. The bonus is the dating life fix. My top 10 podcast episodes to get unstuck right now. And be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back.