213. How Jackie went from burnt out to taking a huge risk (that paid off) with confident main character energy
What happens when you stop playing it safe and start betting on yourself? In this episode, Jackie spills on how she shifted from burnout to bold moves, and what it takes to embrace that Main Character Energy.
Jackie, a former Main Character Energy Mastermind member, joins Lily for a convo about how she went from frozen in fear and burnt out to making some serious boss moves in her life. Together, they dive into the power of community and the mindset shifts that make growth happen. Spoiler: It’s all about trusting yourself, embracing the messiness, and going after what’s yours—whether it's your career goals or relationship desires.
We get into:
How self-trust can lead to unexpected joy and experiences
Transitioning from a background character energy to main character energy
“Whatever growth you are looking to make - if you put in the effort, it will come.”
Taking imperfect action and claiming that things are working out - even when it feels uncomfortable
Jackie’s experience as a researcher of joy!
Links:
RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy
Show transcript:
[00:00:00] Lily: Hey, gorgeous friends. I hope you're having a great day. I am here in my apartment in Brooklyn thinking of you and wondering what you're doing. Maybe you're listening to this on your walk. Maybe you are driving. Whatever the case, I'm so glad that you're here and I'm so grateful that you're in this community.
[00:00:18] I wanted to start this episode by acknowledging something that I'm hearing most people in my community struggling with, and it's not surprising that most people in the community are struggling with shooting their shot because of the paralyzing fear of being rejected or the paralyzing fear of it not going well or fill in the blank with your fear.
[00:00:39] You're not shooting your shot because of all that fear and self doubt and perfectionism getting in the way. And so I. was so inspired by this problem that you're having of shooting your shot. And I also saw that the problem with shooting your shot isn't just about dating. It's a larger [00:01:00] paralyzing fear that you probably have, if you're like any of my clients, that you probably have around it.
[00:01:07] taking risks in general. And what I know about most people in this community is that y'all are dreamers and y'all are ambitious as hell. And there's probably a risk that has been on your brain and heart for weeks, months, maybe even years, that business that you've been ideating on for, uh, Months and months and months and months and months that you've made so many to do list for but it can't seem to jump off the page into reality or you want to quit your soul sucking job and um, start a new phase of your career or you want to move to Europe or you want to move to somewhere else in the country that you've always dreamed of moving to but it feels like too big of a jump, uh, or you want to truly.
[00:01:54] Step into the most main character season of your love life. Like you've been hiding in the shadows and you want to step [00:02:00] forward, right? Whatever that risk is that you have had on your heart and your brain, it is impacting you. And I want to help you. I want to like stop that paralyzing fear in its tracks and help you make that risk.
[00:02:14] Uh, into a reality and make it fucking pay off. And that's what I am going to help you do in my brand new free training called Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy. It is on October 9th. You are the first to hear about it. You can RSVP with the link in the description of this episode. Also at datebrazen.
[00:02:34] com slash take dash that dash risk. In this training, you're going to learn my three steps to unapologetically claim what you want in your dating life. In your life in general, you're going to learn how to release self doubt and you're going to learn a proven roadmap to taking that risk you've been dreaming of and, uh, seeing it pay off with all of the main character energy.
[00:02:58] So this [00:03:00] training is coming up on October 9th and it is going to mark the opening of main character life training. Mastermind. Inside of Main Character Life Mastermind, you're going to complete a life changing main character project by releasing people pleasing, building rock solid self trust, and taking risks that pay off big time.
[00:03:21] In this episode, you are going to hear from Jackie, who was in the Mastermind last year, and who got Such epic results. She wanted change. She would have this like risk on her heart to like quit her job and move to another country and figure out how to live there full time, but it felt so paralyzingly unknown and like, what the fuck am I doing that she delayed taking action for a long time.
[00:03:49] until she joined the mastermind until she joined this community. So I wanted to share this story with you to get you freaking ready for this mastermind to see if it's right for you [00:04:00] and to also inspire you that just like Jackie took a major risk and just like it paid off for Jackie, I'm not going to spoil how it paid off, but like suffice it to say.
[00:04:11] Your jaw will be on the floor with how many risks Jackie took and how hard they paid off because of her main character energy. And so I want you to get inspired and really catch the possibility of like, this is your season, right? Like, here we are. This And your main character energy is waiting. So let's fucking go.
[00:04:32] So register for that live, free training. We're going to open the doors, open the applications to main character life mastermind on October 9th. And, uh, that free training again is take that risk with confident main character energy. Uh, you can register with the link in the description of this episode or at date brazen.
[00:04:48] com. And, uh, it's an honor to, to bring you these episodes and bring you these stories. And I know you're going to leave feeling so inspired. And so ready to [00:05:00] take some epic risks that will pay off. Let's get into it.
[00:05:10] Hey, I'm Lily Womble, former top matchmaker and founder of Date Brazen. After setting up hundreds, I realized that with coaching, women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could. With my unconventional feminist approach, I've helped women around the world build courageous and self trust filled love lives.
[00:05:25] And now I'm here to support you. Get ready because I'm about to show the exact steps you need to attract a soul quenching partnership. And feel amazing about yourself along the way. This is the date brazen podcast. Today I have one of the sparkliest humans. I told her before we hit record, she literally is giving like main character in a romance novel energy at the end of the book.
[00:05:52] You know what I'm saying? Like the, the feeling that I get off of her is, is magnetic. And I'm so excited to talk to her. She was a part of [00:06:00] main character, energy mastermind. She was one of our members. Um, and I'm so excited to chat. Hey, Jackie. Hi. Hi. What feels important for people to know about you before we dive into the mastermind?
[00:06:14] Jackie: I am, I mean, just constantly in transition, but a recovering environmental justice consultant. And current researcher of joy, looking for ways to support women, um, in particular, racial justice advocates through my work with Fiji veritable, good
[00:06:39] Lily: consulting, amazing. And, uh, Tell the great people. I know where we met first and I know how that, you know, how that, how it felt and, um, how much of a joy it was to meet you at the very beginning of our journey together.
[00:06:54] But let's go back. Let's turn the clock back a little bit [00:07:00] and, uh, start at wind. How did you, like, come upon main character energy mastermind and what drew you to apply? And like, what was that like for you?
[00:07:13] Jackie: Yeah. So, um, I found you during the pandemic and, um, I googled feminist dating because I wasn't sure that that was a real thing.
[00:07:24] And I popped up and I can't even remember the specific episode that it was, but I think that, you know, you were doing a deep dive on it and, um, yeah, your values, everything that you were saying just really aligned with my own. And it was just such a beautiful, um, space to happen upon, especially during the pandemic.
[00:07:48] And so I would listen to it while I was walking around the Capitol in Sacramento. And I was listening for a while, um, and. Romance is [00:08:00] definitely an area of my life that I'm interested in focusing some attention, but um, I recognized that there was some repair that needed to happen in, in some other areas.
[00:08:10] Um, maybe not necessarily before, but definitely in fandom. And so while I was heeding all of your beautiful advice, um, when I heard the main character, energy, Mastermind, um, I was in Los Angeles at that point and was trying to figure out where I was going to go next and what I was going to do next. And you seem to be offering a space that was, uh, built specifically for women who were trying to figure that out and who wanted to level up and to transition in their lives.
[00:08:43] And, uh, yeah, it was that, uh, the 1 on 1 call that we had that really sealed the deal for me that, you know, I don't know. Even in that one on one call, you made me feel very, very seen.
[00:08:53] Lily: Do you remember how you were feeling? Take us back to what, what was going on for you at that point? [00:09:00]
[00:09:01] Jackie: I laugh because, you know, I feel like there's a part of me that wants to be like, that was so long ago and I've grown so much and I've changed so much.
[00:09:09] But I mean, it's just been nonstop transition. It's been really big decisions, really big changes. And most of them have been terrifying. But also just being able to trust myself in those choices and in those spaces has brought a lot of unexpected joy, um, a lot of unexpected experiences and a lot of unexpected.
[00:09:35] Pleasure, you know, I feel good about the decisions that I'm making.
[00:09:40] Lily: Yeah. Do you mind if I share a little bit of what I remember from our conversation? I am horrified.
[00:09:50] I think that you're doing this thing where you don't remember. I don't know that many clients who have had. [00:10:00] Um, uh, a big transition for over a 6, 8 month period would necessarily remember or want to touch down on some of, uh, some of the harder moments before deciding to get support. So I just want to be sort of a witness to Jackie, you know, 8 months ago, um, maybe a little bit longer.
[00:10:19] Now, when we first had our call 1 on 1 to see if this was the right fit for you. You had an idea of where you wanted to go and who you wanted to become, but I also remember that it felt impossible.
[00:10:38] Jackie: Right.
[00:10:39] Lily: Do you, what, what comes up when I say that?
[00:10:41] Jackie: Oh, a hundred percent. I. Was so burnt out and exhausted, and I was unable to really process everything that, you know, had happened over the course of the pandemic, um, the things with [00:11:00] work, and, you know, I couldn't see the forest through the trees.
[00:11:04] Yeah, I just remember, especially in our 1 on 1, I couldn't stop talking about how I was a background person and that I wanted to be a main stage person. I wanted to be at the front, but that I just, I feel comfortable. I feel the most comfortable being being backstage. Um, but yeah, it's. It's the transition and it's the, it's the growth and yeah, I'm, I remember that feeling extremely hard and extremely painful.
[00:11:39] And even, um, I think once I got to Glasgow. And we had our one on one session, I think, before we, the, the program even got started and I know I cry. That's most do, right. But it was just feeling like I [00:12:00] couldn't see anything. I just couldn't, had no vision. I was just exhausted and I didn't have the capacity to see anything for me anymore.
[00:12:10] I just wanted to lay down.
[00:12:12] Lily: Yeah. And as I recall, you gave yourself a lot of permission to lay down.
[00:12:18] Jackie: I did. And you
[00:12:20] Lily: also, you just threw the Glasgow thing and the people at home do not know that you decided to make an international move at near the beginning of your, I think you had already decided like, that's what you wanted when you joined, but there was a lot of like pressure and voices from a lot of different places that were like, Why would you do that?
[00:12:39] That's not stable. That's not a good decision. That's not going to serve you. That's not going to, you needed a career. You need a job and you've done this nonprofit thing for so long. Why would you ever, ever stop doing this exhausting job that you've had forever?
[00:12:53] Jackie: A hundred percent. And there is [00:13:00] something to be said, I mean, it's a privilege to do the work that I do 100, 000%, but I think that also as a black woman, that there is a sense of obligation that's ingrained culturally, and that like we are to be of service.
[00:13:17] And so when I was even having this conversation about the things that I wanted to do, a lot of the pushback was, you know, abandoning people, abandoning communities and abandoning the work, which just made me feel a thousand times worse because I knew that where I was at and what I was doing wasn't working.
[00:13:38] And then I wanted something else and I wanted to be somewhere else. But I just felt so torn up inside about this idea of, you know, abandoning. My community.
[00:13:50] Lily: How did you move through that? It sounds like some shame and sounds like some just like pressure. Well, how did you move through that?
[00:13:58] Jackie: I mean, I, [00:14:00] it's still a struggle every single day.
[00:14:03] Um, because that's, it is intrinsically a part of who I am as a person and I'll never stop being an advocate and I'll never stop doing the work. But you have to take some time and some space to figure out how to take care of yourself in that, because you can be in service of no one if you can't take care of yourself.
[00:14:21] Lily: So pausing right there, Jackie, that sentence that you just said, I can tell you believe it now, right? But there were like months that it did not feel true that like, yeah, that's true for other people. Other people get to put themselves first, but I don't, it's not possible for me for these, you know, very valid reasons, you know?
[00:14:41] Right. So what gives, what, how did you, what do you, how do you think you transition? I think this is helpful for everybody to hear just whether it's about the mastermind or not, but you have been on this journey of like truly believing. And transitioning from that sounds good on [00:15:00] paper. Not for me too. This is what I believe now, and it's a struggle, but it's what I believe and it's what I'm living.
[00:15:04] How did you get there?
[00:15:05] Jackie: I mean, it's a lot of deprogramming and I mean, it took me the, I mean, the sabbatical was supposed to be two or three months.
[00:15:16] Lily: Yeah. Yeah. And I remember you were, when we first talked, you were in, you were in California, but you were at a friend's home and you were like, I'm going on this sabbatical, like, I don't know what it's going to be.
[00:15:29] I don't know how long I'm going to be cut to eight months later. Yeah, at
[00:15:35] Jackie: that point, I had come back from the sabbatical and I was having, I was having a difficult time staying. So I was trying to figure out what it would look like for me to come back to everything. And I, it, the resistance was just so strong.
[00:15:54] It took me a good couple of months just to relax once [00:16:00] you have experienced a state of burnout. I mean, it's a different amount of time that takes everybody to recover. And I mean, it's been a lifetime recovering, but it was a good couple of months before I could even relax, which was, you know, just the first portion of the actual sabbatical.
[00:16:14] And then I was back, and It was just, I was immediately just depressed and I felt trapped. I felt a lot of shame about wanting, wanting something else about thinking about something else. Yeah. Well, I had been traveling. I mean, Scotland is not anywhere that I thought would resonate in the slightest, but it.
[00:16:44] It did something, you know, like, I keep coming back.
[00:16:48] Lily: Yeah, well, I'm, I'm curious. Okay. So let's get to the point where, okay, you're just to set the scene. You had gone on this sabbatical, you'd come back. You were in this job that you felt [00:17:00] like, wow, it's a place where I'm of service, but I don't think that this is my long term fit.
[00:17:06] But I, but I don't know what to do. You and I had a conversation. What led you. To and I want to acknowledge that your journey to right now is because of the myriad of things that you've done to pour into yourself. This mastermind being 1 piece of a large, larger puzzle of figuring out what your agency is telling you to do.
[00:17:29] So I just want to put that out there as an acknowledgement as an acknowledgement. And so what led you to decide to invest this amount of money, this amount of time, this amount of energy. Into a program into the mastermind.
[00:17:44] Jackie: Well, let me say, first of all, that it has been a large piece, great. The main character energy program anchored me, you know, like I was still kind of grasping.
[00:17:56] I was still kind of searching. I was still kind of spinning. I was trying to figure [00:18:00] stuff out. Um, and it anchored me in a way that I really, really, really needed. And the community that was built in that space. It's just incredible. You know, I had a call with Mishi and Ashwini. It was either yesterday or the day before yesterday, just checking it and catching up.
[00:18:18] And yeah, yeah, it was not a small piece. It was a large piece. I wanted to join the brazen breakthrough, but I wanted to focus on more than just the romantic aspect. I wanted something that was going to Allow me to breathe into to grow into the spaces that I needed to regardless of what my romantic ambitions were.
[00:18:44] Lily: Yeah,
[00:18:45] Jackie: but I also loved that during our 1 on 1, you were like, that's cute, but also like, we're not going to forget about romance. Yeah. Love is a very important piece and [00:19:00] component to this. So I want you to grow in whatever way that you're going to grow, but also like be thinking about this. And
[00:19:07] Lily: yeah,
[00:19:08] Jackie: it gets to take up space too.
[00:19:10] Correct.
[00:19:11] Lily: Yeah. So what led you to invest that amount of money, time and energy? Like what was the impetus for like, okay, this is for me. Truly. It was the one on one.
[00:19:20] Jackie: Yeah, I'd been a long time listener and there really wasn't much that was preventing me at that point. I wanted to level up. Yeah. And you were offering a space to do that while also healing
[00:19:38] Lily: that makes sense.
[00:19:39] Jackie: Yeah, makes total sense.
[00:19:41] Lily: Makes total sense. And it's such a, an expansive program and that it's 6 months. It's like, we're going deep. It's such a, what are you thinking?
[00:19:51] Jackie: So I try to explain this to my friends, right? Because I'm like, you bitches need to do this. [00:20:00] Because I recognize. And each of them, it's really strong feminist, independent women who don't feel like they're being met by romantic opportunities that meet them where they're at and they're spit in their wheels and they're upset and disappointed by the experiences that they're having.
[00:20:27] And not to say that that's not a space that you should focus on, but if you, what was helpful for me. Was shifting that attention towards me and focusing on what I want and what I need and how I want to grow instead of trying to keep myself small and making myself appealing for, you know, whatever's out there.
[00:20:54] Yeah, I mean. Online dating is just a hot mess, such a hot mess. [00:21:00] Any of the platforms that, you know, have been created with the intention of developing spaces for safe spaces for women inevitably get overtaken or dominated by all of the systemic issues that, you know, we see white supremacy and misogynists and, you know, everybody, racist, you know, And it just, it's not a hospitable place when that's the pool, the dating pool that you're swimming in.
[00:21:29] You know, that's, that's a lot of pee. That's a lot of pee in the pool.
[00:21:35] Lily: That's a lot of pee in the pool. That's a great analogy. I love it.
[00:21:39] Jackie: Gotta get out. You gotta get out. You gotta get out and you gotta find some other way to find that level. Yes. Again, like I think about my, my friends who are going through this and it's so hard to explain it because I'm like, this is probably [00:22:00] everything that you're looking for most of the things that you need.
[00:22:04] They're also a lot of them are independent. Um, not necessarily contractors, but they certainly work independently. And again, like not having community while you're trying to figure out all of these things is a really tough place to be. I know what you think that this might be, but in actuality, like, I guarantee you that it aligns, at least, you know, like a heavy percentage, if not a hundred percent with what your values are,
[00:22:34] Lily: a
[00:22:35] Jackie: lot of percent with what my values were.
[00:22:37] Lily: Yeah,
[00:22:38] Jackie: and it is, it's a safe space. It's a good safe space to, I don't know, to find something better to do something better to get the level of support that you need so that you stop thinking of yourself as the problem.
[00:22:54] Lily: I think that's exactly it. Right? Like, when I think back to your [00:23:00] story and obviously not disclosing anything that we haven't already.
[00:23:04] You know, hinted at, we're not going to, I'm not going to totally like, this is a safe space as well. I'm not going to, you know, talk about the things that are confidential. And I do want to mention, you know, when you were in the job that felt like the only thing that you could do because of the structures and the, you know, The, the system that you live within that says you must be serving other people, you must be giving back all the time, no matter what doesn't matter how you feel the, the feeling of trapped.
[00:23:35] I'm trapped in that and nothing else will feel better. Like, it's. Actually not possible. I remember you saying things like, I don't think it's possible for me to create the job that I really want. I don't think it's possible for me to get funding for the thing that I really wanna do. Right. I don't think it was right.
[00:23:51] So in that it's not possible, you're centering that which was wrong for you. Right. In whether or not you [00:24:00] believe what you want is possible in the future.
[00:24:03] Jackie: A thousand percent.
[00:24:05] Lily: Yeah. Which is, is very normal. But what, what are you thinking?
[00:24:09] Jackie: I, you know, I both. Wish that the program was longer and happy, happy that it was only 6 months, you know, like I'm the kind of person who likes to leave a situation wanting more and that's definitely how I felt in that space.
[00:24:26] The absence of it is very apparent. Like, I'm happy that I have those relationships and those connections that I built and I have the workbook that I can still reflect on and go back to. Um, that's a very potent space. It's a very potent space.
[00:24:43] Lily: Well, I'm, I'm honored that you feel that way. That's the intention, you know, and, um, I think as Oprah said in the making over podcast in the Oprah show was deep because I intended it to be the, the main character energy mastermind was deep because I intended it to be.
[00:24:58] And the group that [00:25:00] is attracted to that. Container is going to co create a really magical once in a lifetime space. It's happened every single time we've done it
[00:25:11] Jackie: and you get 100 percent of what you put into it. I really appreciated the fuck the workbook at the beginning, giving yourself some permission on how you want to participate, but I've never seen.
[00:25:23] Such a successful model of you get what you put into it, you get out, but into it, like, is exactly that. However, much growth you are looking to make if you put in the effort, like, that's what's going to come out on the other side of that.
[00:25:39] Lily: Yeah,
[00:25:40] Jackie: and it was. It was amazing to see what we were able to accomplish over the course of just six months.
[00:25:45] Yeah. Um, I mean, cause it's, it's a lot and it moves really, really quickly and it doesn't, it's, there's nothing about it that feels heavy and there's no sense of obligation and you move through it so quickly, at least for me, [00:26:00] like that you don't realize within the first couple of months, sort of how quickly you're moving and how much you're processing.
[00:26:07] Uh, but the, yeah, the reflection certainly is like, well, God damn,
[00:26:14] Lily: I remember when I, you know, at the beginning of the mastermind for those listening, we create, uh, a list of things that you want to believe. By the end, you know, what, what are things you want to believe about yourself, about your main character energy, about your future, about who you are and about halfway through the program.
[00:26:30] We, we did an exercise where they went back. The members went back to the beginning of the workbook, saw what they wanted to plan to believe. And all of you were already at the point you wanted to be at the end right now. Like in the middle, you know, and then we could just go into bonus golden hours, you know, because the work that you had done to believe, like, maybe I am worthy of a job that I feel supported by and good within.
[00:26:57] Maybe I am worthy [00:27:00] of a love life that feels equal and sparkly and, and sexy and reciprocal, um, you know, like you were already there. And then what we had to do is just like put actions. In place to continue to bolster those beliefs and bolster the worthy action you are taking is the main character of your story.
[00:27:20] Jackie: 100 percent I had a really difficult time getting my brain to step away from work because obviously, like, what I have to come back to, and I have to figure that out. And so that was a struggle for me throughout the entire process. But what happened was. My relationship to it improved in such a way that I was able to make that into a joyful space because I got to imagine what it could look like when I enjoy it, when it's fun, [00:28:00] when it's giving, which ironically or unironically is also still me.
[00:28:05] Supporting other people like that doesn't go away. Yeah, but it's just how I do that and how I live and operate in that space is also included. Yeah. And the other thing is. I don't know, like, and this is sort of what has happened since the program ended, but the reflections that I've been having on the way that I've been participating in romantic relationships has definitely shifted.
[00:28:37] I'm aware of it because I have friends, like I said, I'm like, girl, you gotta get a rose program. You gotta do this thing. Because I'm watching them go through and experience the same thing and, you know, I'm like, I know what it feels like to operate and to think about these things from a place of scarcity that, you know, like what you want doesn't exist and that that's just a.[00:29:00]
[00:29:00] It's a reinforced experience based on you trying to, you know, play in the people.
[00:29:12] Lily: I was like, don't play in the people. You got to get out of the people. Funniest thing that has been said on this
[00:29:22] Jackie: podcast ever continue. The level of clarity that I've had more recently. Around my own intentions has just been apparent and it's not even something that I'm specifically trying to focus on, but I'm just, yeah, there's just a different level of awareness that I've been experiencing around what I want because I've had some practice.
[00:29:49] I'm building some muscle memory around what that looks like in the other way. And so now that like work is kind of coming together, the [00:30:00] living situation is kind of coming.
[00:30:02] Lily: Wait, wait, wait, wait, excuse me. I'm sorry. We have to coach. We have to coach right now. Jackie, how is it just kind of coming together?
[00:30:12] I thought, go ahead.
[00:30:16] Jackie: Nothing's permanent, but I did find out today that I got the apartment that I wanted, um, here in Edinburgh.
[00:30:28] Lily: Thank you more, please. Thank you more, please. No, like that's an example. That's it, Jackie. It's kind of coming together and then I, I pushed back and then you said, but nothing's permanent life. Isn't permanent. Right? You get to claim. And this is why I love coaching is because there are a little, these little micro inflection points where our brain wants to be safe.
[00:30:52] It's going to dress or her strategy. It's It's going to make sure that we're like, everything is a hundred percent figured out before we take action and then dah, dah, dah, dah. And then we end up [00:31:00] paralyzed and not taking action because we were waiting for things to be perfect. You're engaging in imperfect action.
[00:31:06] Yeah. And all you have to do now is claim that it's working out because it is.
[00:31:12] Jackie: Yeah. And it is uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable.
[00:31:19] Lily: Say more.
[00:31:20] Jackie: I mean, yeah, it's, but I don't think that I would be trying, you know, if it was, if it was comfortable, I was comfortable. I was, you know, doing okay. But pushing myself is, it's fucking terrifying.
[00:31:40] It is absolutely terrifying. It's scary to want things. It's scary to desire things that yes, and fear of rejection and, you know, all these other things. And so I just find that I have an easier time coaching myself through these [00:32:00] things now. Still love to be in your mastermind.
[00:32:06] Lily: Well, we're resigning soon.
[00:32:07] So it's, it's all good. No, but I love that. I mean, main character energy to me is about imperfect action. Towards what you want, which imperfectly admitting what you want. And as you're sharing, it's uncomfortable. Uh, and you're, you're, I mean, I just want to reflect back to you, like. From the outside in, and I know nothing is ever completely perfect.
[00:32:32] It sounds like to me, you're getting everything that you want right now.
[00:32:37] Jackie: This is true. And I have a date.
[00:32:39] Lily: So more, please.
[00:32:46] Jackie: Thank you more, please. How
[00:32:47] Lily: does that feel?
[00:32:48] Jackie: It feels good and, and it feels different. I, the, being able to be reflective, being able to access that [00:33:00] tool. Is very helpful and I think like that's what I got out of the program was just a really good fucking toolbox.
[00:33:08] And I know like when I start spilling, I think spending I call it my, my stack, my self care action plan love. I block out some time on my calendar, like once a week where it's like, you got to, you got to do it and it's. What do you do? Meditation on Younger You. Oh, yeah. It is.
[00:33:34] Lily: Which is in the portal for everybody who is listening.
[00:33:38] In the portal for the mastermind.
[00:33:39] Jackie: How to feel your feelings.
[00:33:42] Lily: Also in the portal, yeah.
[00:33:43] Jackie: There's another one. It's an exercise that you did. But I have four. I have four activities that I include. And so, I know, like, when I start to spin, That's like, all right, like, let's come back. Let's check in [00:34:00] thoughts, feelings are not facts.
[00:34:03] You know, it's a really good toolbox. It's a really good toolbox.
[00:34:07] Lily: Yeah.
[00:34:07] Jackie: Yeah. Like being able to be reflective, I like, even this week, this date I've been very nervous about because. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm like, I want it. Yeah. Yeah. But I have also just been thinking about the experiences that I've had that have gone well, that I've really enjoyed, and that have taught me something about what I like and what I want and what I need.
[00:34:38] So I feel prepared to identify those things and to, I have a metric through my own experience, through which I can measure like, however, this is going to go, which makes me feel a lot better about it. Well, I don't know how this is going to go.
[00:34:55] Lily: Yeah. Yeah, you have your own back, right? This is [00:35:00] different because you have your own back.
[00:35:01] It's not that I like to say like dating, like people in the dating world don't necessarily change. Like the wrong people for you are going to be the wrong people for you. It's also not that dating apps are going to be like, Amazing after you did. No, your brain is the one that's changing. Your self trust is the thing that's changing your, you know, lens through which you see the world and you give yourself permission is changing.
[00:35:27] And that in turn. Does change everything because you're in control of what you're in control of instead of trying to control things that like the pee pee pool that you're not in control of at all.
[00:35:41] Jackie: Correct. Correct.
[00:35:43] Lily: What, uh, lesson stands out to you in the six months?
[00:35:49] Jackie: Um, I mean, just
[00:35:50] Lily: one.
[00:35:50] Jackie: What
[00:35:51] Lily: was one of your favorites or one that you like think about often?
[00:35:56] Jackie: I feel like it's hard for me to parse this out because I, [00:36:00] I keep thinking about my self care action plan.
[00:36:03] Lily: Yeah, it does feel like one, one thing, doesn't it? Like, there were weekly lessons, but it does feel I'm hearing that as well. Like, it sounds like it feels like a, a, a conjoined unit.
[00:36:18] Jackie: Right. It isn't one thing and all of the things build on each other.
[00:36:25] Each one is better and you eventually get to like self gratitude. Yeah. Self appreciation. Yeah. I mean, I'm just, honestly, I'm just grateful for the toolbox. Yeah. Having all of those resources and. Having have been in a space where, I mean, it's just such an incredible group of people. Anytime you can get incredible humans together, you know, who are oriented around similar goals, [00:37:00] similar values.
[00:37:01] You're going to get really dynamic results. Learning all of those things on my own would have been nice, but it would have been like, okay, yeah, I read that. Thanks. But hearing the experiences of everybody else in the group, getting the coaching, watching the coaching just really helps to bring everything together.
[00:37:25] You know, it's. It's a recipe. There isn't one ingredient in there that for me, at the very least, it's not one ingredient that I want to take home with me. I'm like, I want the whole cake. And there you are with wanting things.
[00:37:42] Lily: What did Ash Winnie say? I mean, what didn't she say? Fact. Truly the most quotable person I've ever had in a group coaching program. I think what you're mentioning is about like, hearing other people. Engage and [00:38:00] embody and belong to their own main character energy.
[00:38:02] Jackie: That was huge. Like from where she started in the beginning.
[00:38:09] Yeah. I can't, I can't. I am unmatched or I am irreplaceable or it was something.
[00:38:17] Lily: Well, and I, every, there wasn't a single person in the cohort who I can't tell a story about, you know, how they. You included, uh, just like so deeply, because I would love you to tell the, the listeners, like, where are you now?
[00:38:36] Like, what is your, what is your work life look like now? Obviously you have a sexy date tonight. Today. You got, uh, Approved for an apartment in Edinburgh, which you have now like, decided that you're like, kind of permanently moving to like, I what? Like, okay, continue. Where are you now?
[00:38:55] Jackie: Right. Um, well, I was in [00:39:00] Portugal for 2 months.
[00:39:01] And I spent a month in Lisbon and a month in Porto, and that was really to do some deep digs and deep dives on how I want this next phase of work to come together. Yeah. Uh, like I said at the, at the top, I'm really interested in trying to figure out how to spread the gospel. Um, how to support women's of what gospel just to be, to be extra clear of rest of self care, joy of thinking more.
[00:39:37] Yeah. Yeah. Whatever is the world feels like a terrible place all the time. And there's lots of that information. Um, I think that Being able to find your own joy and happiness and self care in the middle of all of that allows you to amplify whatever impact it is that you're trying to make. [00:40:00] And I mean, that's just, that's how I feel is, yeah, I don't want to stop what I'm doing.
[00:40:07] I just want to, I want to be better at it. I want to have a larger impact around it. Make sure that the people who are doing it a little more specifically around the women and women of color. But I want to make sure that they are resourced, you know, racial justice advocates, the level of burnout. I mean, before the pandemic was gnarly.
[00:40:30] Post pandemic is just, I mean, I've never heard the word sabbatical more times in my life. I just want to figure out how I can support folks. And, you know, I adjust when I say that I'm an, you know, amateur researcher of joy, but I'm, I'm kind of serious about it.
[00:40:48] Lily: You're not an amateur researcher of joy. I don't think no, you're doing a whole full fledged like project with proposals and funding.
[00:40:59] Thank you. Right. Tell [00:41:00] us more about this.
[00:41:01] Jackie: Well, I mean, it's sort of backwards because the research project that I'm doing right now originally was built around the concept of examining the mortality rates of, uh, environmental justice, of racial justice advocates. But we decided to shift our focus to burnout because it was like, well, let's talk about stress and not just talk about what happens at the end of their lives.
[00:41:28] Let's talk about these conditions. And it's largely burnout that we're conducting some research right now, um, with the UC Davis center for regional change and having conversations with racial justice advocates about what their experiences are, how they are coping, what coping skills they have, what, um, What they need, what's absent, and none of it would be unremarkable to hear.
[00:41:52] It is probably already what you imagined and probably more severe, but all of these people, all of [00:42:00] them, you know, just deserve some rest and some joy and some peace. So, I am initiating some conversations around what it is. Yeah, could potentially look like to build some, some support around however many of these folks I can get to, but this next phase of whatever we're going to be doing to engage with the world and to engage with all the things that are going on, we better be rested,
[00:42:31] Lily: right?
[00:42:32] Better be caring for ourselves, right? And how does joy play into that? I know joy is a part of. Right. A study, if not this study.
[00:42:40] Jackie: Yeah, because we're, we're hoping to make recommendations on what that can look like in terms of the support that they need. Community is a really big 1, even just in the conversations that we've had.
[00:42:53] Just being able to see each other and talk to each other. You know, like it's and literally at [00:43:00] this point, we're just having these are just conversations. Like, do you want to share?
[00:43:04] Lily: Yeah, but
[00:43:05] Jackie: they know each other and it's, you know, it's a community. It's a community folks do. And so I'm like, how do we tap into that?
[00:43:14] Yeah. The community piece or spaces. Yeah. Where they can. Talk to each other and rest with each other and play with each other and eat delicious food. And like, how do we tap into that? Imagine what these people who are already doing such incredible work could accomplish if they were also getting mental health, physical health.
[00:43:41] Child care support, they didn't have to worry about housing, like if we invested in them the same way that we do it, you know, some of these other CEOs, just think about the level of impact, arrested woman, arrested racial justice advocate.
[00:43:57] Lily: [00:44:00] Yes. Well, Jackie, I'm, I'm just so excited for what you've created in a relatively short amount of time.
[00:44:09] I mean, if you think about, you know, we probably spoke in August, it is currently end of March. So, September, October, November, December, January, February, March, like seven months, you truly have created a container to support just to reflect back and like verbally, uh, you know, affirm the shit out of you, you have created.
[00:44:33] A completely different life for yourself. That sounds like from, from my perspective is your coach and, and, and cheerleader. And, uh, I just am hearing, you've created a job that suits your life. You've created opportunities. To change other people's lives because you are now more well rested, you are living in the space that you want to live in.
[00:44:59] [00:45:00] You are figuring it out, even though it's messy and scary and unclear sometimes and unsure sometimes. I mean, you were sharing, it's been a journey to get this apartment that has been difficult. Like it doesn't negate the hard that still exists, but I just am so excited for you and so proud of you.
[00:45:20] Jackie: I'm excited too. I'm excited. Well, you know, because we were talking beforehand and I was telling you, like, all the things. Yeah. And it is. It's hard. It's hard. This didn't make things easy, but it made, it made it more joyful. It made it easier for me to see like, I can get a lot of things done if I can visualize what they look like and how they need to come together.
[00:45:53] I was just, I couldn't see anything anymore. And I was like, I don't want to see anything anymore. I just want to lay down. [00:46:00] Come find me if you need me, I'll be, you know, I'll be there. laid out. Yeah. Uh, so it was really nice to be engaged in a way that allowed me to both see myself in a life that I want to continue participating in.
[00:46:19] I don't know, just being able to imagine like that's, that's the fun part. The hard part is building it and actually getting The fun part is realizing that you can make it look like whatever you want.
[00:46:31] Lily: Mmm. Yeah. What would you say to somebody who is interested in doing the Mastermind, main character in G Mastermind, and is on the fence?
[00:46:40] Jackie: Get off that fence! Get out of the peepee pool.
[00:46:48] Yeah, I know it's a tough decision because it's a considerable amount of money. You have to decide on how you want to invest in yourself. And I have not [00:47:00] seen many actually, we're dating is because I haven't seen feminist dating. anywhere else. You were literally the only thing that popped up when I googled it.
[00:47:09] But I haven't, I haven't seen anybody else who is taking this approach, who is trying to get things accomplished in the same way that you are, which is really rooted in building community and the space and ability for women to believe in themselves. It's hard because it sounds, it sounds like a dream. It sounds like, yeah.
[00:47:36] Okay. Right.
[00:47:38] Lily: Yeah. Good for Jackie. Good for Jackie, but not for me. And maybe when you were listening to a podcast episode of another mastermind client before you signed up, you were like, good for them, but not for me. I'm trapped.
[00:47:50] Jackie: Definitely. Well, and I was like, I don't have that kind of money. You do that because you have that kind of money, but.
[00:47:56] I did just get to a point where I was like, I need something different. [00:48:00] Something has to be different. I need to be different. And it resonated with me and it was worth more pennies than I gave.
[00:48:14] Lily: Yeah, well, I'm so glad that you trusted yourself into that decision, right? Like you listen to yourself. You trusted yourself.
[00:48:22] And I, I love to, I mean, this is true of every client I've ever worked with. If you trust yourself into your yes, then you are guaranteed to get massive results that you can't even plan for. Like, could you have planned for this life that you're living at this current moment right now? Eight months ago,
[00:48:41] Jackie: not even a little bit.
[00:48:42] I was so terrified. I was just like, I didn't know where I was going to go. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know where I was going to live. I just knew that I couldn't stay where I was and I couldn't keep doing what I was doing and no, like I, I could [00:49:00] not, I did not have the mental, emotional, physical capacity to entertain.
[00:49:08] Anything like this. I just didn't have it in me.
[00:49:11] Lily: What changed to have it in you to try?
[00:49:14] Jackie: It was the healing and I was using rest as a hoping mechanism. I was using rest like don't talk to me, I'm laying down or I'm zoning out. I'm, you know, like I was using rest in a, in a not so great way. And. I, through this process, I've started, I've been able to use rest as a, as a gift to myself and as a mechanism of healing.
[00:49:48] Some of that, it has to be permissive. You have to give yourself permission for that because if you don't, there's some shame in it that like you don't deserve to be resting or you [00:50:00] don't want anybody to know that you're resting, you know. Uh, but when you can give yourself some permission for that, then it shifts the way that you engage in that you're not trying to hide and you're not like laying down until you have to get up again.
[00:50:15] It is. I'm going to take some time.
[00:50:18] Lily: Yeah. The permission piece.
[00:50:21] Jackie: Right.
[00:50:22] Lily: Yeah. Well, I am so excited to hear about this date that you have tonight. And I'm so excited. Please post pictures of your new apartment in the slack channel. If you feel like Available, if that feels good, we all want to celebrate and see, and I'm so grateful that you came on Jackie.
[00:50:41] Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for being vulnerable enough to, to say yes to yourself and to say yes to what you wanted in general. Right? That's what led you to here is being supported, being in community saying yes to what you wanted. And now you're like, oh, that's great. [00:51:00] We talked about so often the identity of I get everything I want,
[00:51:04] Jackie: right?
[00:51:06] Lily: And I think that you're an embody of that embodiment of that.
[00:51:09] Jackie: That was a tough one. Yeah, that took me quite a bit of time to get around and I had it on a post it note and I would take it down when people would come over because I didn't want anybody to know that I was. Thinking that
[00:51:23] Lily: yeah, I said it on mic at my wedding and I like, literally was like, I'm so grateful to be here.
[00:51:33] I'm so grateful. You all are here. And aren't I lucky that I get everything I want. And then I like, overthought it. I was like, oh, shit. I shouldn't have said that. Like, oh, my God, we're going to people think I am like, oh, God, I overthought it for. A week. I was like thinking about it. So it is a, it's for those listening.
[00:51:52] It's not saying that hard shit doesn't happen. Life is still 50, 50, 50, great 50 shitty. And it's a belief [00:52:00] that shapes your reality, right? That is difficult to employ. But when you do. You can be like Jackie, go on a fabulous date and getting an apartment in Edinburgh, where you exactly where you want to live and building a business.
[00:52:13] That's going to change millions of lives. I don't know. Anything's possible results vary, you know, based on what you want. Um, uh, well, thank you, Jackie. So grateful for you. Thank you. Thank you more, please. Thank you more, please. If you want to join main character energy mastermind, go to the link in the description of this episode and you can find out more, talk to y'all [00:53:00] soon.