214. From an exhausting job, to taking a huge leap and confidently prioritizing herself with main character energy with client Erica
Ever thought about making a big leap from your current job to your dream career? Discover how Erica ditched an exhausting job and became a full-time romance novelist with main character energy!
Lily welcomes Erica a former Main Character Energy Mastermind client who made the leap from feeling stuck in her career to living her dream as a full-time romance novelist. Erica gets real about facing her fears, ditching self-doubt, and breaking free from the "shoulds" to follow her passion. This convo is a must-listen if you’re ready to trust yourself, go after what you want, and make some bold, messy moves. Plus, Lily spills the details on her live training event happening October 9th, all about taking risks with main character energy.
This episode will leave you feeling inspired and ready to take tangible next steps to embrace main character energy, stop “shoulding” all over yourself, and step into a braver, bolder, and more magical season of your life.
We get into:
How Erica embraced her desire to become a full-time romance novelist
Tapping into main character energy to choose yourself and make your dreams a reality: “Here is an opportunity to figure out a way to choose me,” said Erica.
Get the scoop on how trusting yourself can lead to bold moves and major life changes
“What you want doesn't just appear one day because you wish for it hard enough. It's about really taking into consideration the work that I put in, the talent that I know I have, the want, and just going after it.”
How stepping away from people-pleasing can help you build the self-trust you need to chase your true desires
Links:
RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy
Erica’s books, including “Witty in Pink”
Show transcript:
[00:00:00] Lily: Hello, gorgeous friends. Welcome to another episode of the Date Brazen podcast. I am so glad that you're here. Today's episode is one of my favorites. Erica is a former client of mine. We worked together in main character life mastermind. Um, it used to be called main character energy mastermind. Now it's main character life.
[00:00:20] It's a six month mastermind. This episode is sponsored by the mastermind and sponsored by my upcoming training that I'm going to share more about. But I just want to take a second to talk about how the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. So Erica specifically had been struggling in her dating life and that's what like brought her to this podcast and um, she was feeling stuck, stuck, stuck, like paralyzed by fear, really worried about shooting her shot, not wanting to be on apps.
[00:00:50] It's like. a lot of worry and fear and self judgment was coming up for her. When I got to talk to Erica for the first time, we didn't just talk about her [00:01:00] dating life. We talked about where she felt stuck in her life in general, because that's The way we do one thing is the way we do everything. And dating is a microcosm of every hope, joy, dream, fear, insecurity, desire that we have as humans.
[00:01:15] So if you are shitting yourself in your dating life, I shouldn't struggle this hard. I shouldn't be here right now. I should be further ahead in my dating life, whatever ahead is. I should be better at this by now. I should be more brave. I should be, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. If you're shitting on yourself.
[00:01:33] Then you probably are shitting on yourself in other areas of your life too. And what I found in my first conversation with Erica was that she was shitting on herself, not only in dating, but in her work life too. She had, gotten this amazing degree. She had worked so hard to get it. She had poured so many years into becoming an excellent teacher and she loved [00:02:00] teaching her kids and loved connecting with, um, the kids that she got to teach both.
[00:02:03] And she knew that while that life felt like it looked good on paper from the outside, on the inside, she really was dissatisfied. And she knew she had this like desire. In her body to quit teaching and to become a full time writer. While Erica was teaching, she was actually writing romance novels. She had written a couple of romance novels.
[00:02:31] She'd even gotten a publisher and they had published these romance novels. They're amazing. And you'll hear about some of them in this episode. And she was still working full time as a teacher. While this was happening, felt paralyzed by fear to strike out on her own and become and try to become a full time writer, which felt more risky and less sure.
[00:02:54] Of course. Right? Like it wasn't a nine to five. It was something by her own design. And so for [00:03:00] years she had been shooting herself and hiding from that desire and shoving it away and 1 a. m. when she'd be up worried, I don't know if exactly she was up at 1 a. m., but that's what. Generally when I speak to people who have a desire on their heart, a risk they want to take, there's some late night anxious rumination going on.
[00:03:18] And so I just wanted to start by sharing that the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. And this episode and this series of episodes about your main character energy, I hope it feels like a A grand invitation to start getting on a bigger fucking stage in your life, a bigger fucking stage so that you can acknowledge what you want, give yourself permission to want what you want.
[00:03:44] So you can learn the skill of self trust to stop shooting all over yourself, to stop doubting what you want, to stop doubting yourself in the process, to really anchor in self trust. And then. to take some messy, massive, courageous action toward that which you [00:04:00] desire. If you have main character, those three things are main character energy.
[00:04:03] And if you have those three things, then you are going to be fine. Your risk will work out whether a short term or medium term or long term, like I think no matter what in the short term, it'll work out. And there are going to be sticky human moments along the way, which you'll hear from Erica as well.
[00:04:21] The like human life continues. And when you have main character energy, you can take bold as fuck risks knowing that it's going to work out because you have your own back, knowing that it's going to work out because of your main character energy. So today is a call in to you to like really look at where are you shitting yourself in your life right now?
[00:04:48] Where are you feeling stuck professionally in your dating life, in your friendship life, Where are you feeling stuck and dissatisfied? I want [00:05:00] this to be an invitation to start acknowledging where you want to grow into, what you want to grow into. I love this phrase that one of my teachers once shared with me, which is, I am who I am becoming.
[00:05:13] And inside of this conversation about main character energy, I think you're going to feel that. So if you have been Wanting to take a risk for a really long time, whether that be a dating risk, you want to date IRL and approach cuties with confidence and ask people out with confidence and it feels fucking scary as hell to do.
[00:05:32] You're paralyzed by fear and you've never done it before, or you have a risk in your career life. You want to quit your job and start that business. You've been ideating on for a decade. Or you want to build a core group of friends. You feel dissatisfied in your friend group, and you really want to build a core group of friends who reciprocate and who love you the way you want to be loved.
[00:05:52] Whatever the risk is that you want to take, let this be an invitation to figure that shit out. [00:06:00] Your desire is evidence that what you want exists, and the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. So yeah, this is a big, podcast about your love life and love life is expansive. I think about love life now is like, how do you love on yourself and your desires and your dreams in your own life?
[00:06:18] Stop fucking shrinking. Okay? So if you want to take that risk with confident main character energy, then get your butt to my live training coming up on October 9th. It is sponsoring this episode today. It's called take that risk with confident main character energy. In this live training, you are going to claim the massive risk that you've been dreaming of.
[00:06:38] You're going to come up with a main character plan to make it happen, and I'm going to help you eliminate the obstacles before they even happen. And that's what we did with Erica inside of my mastermind, Main Character Life Mastermind. When Erica was in it last year, it was called Main Character Energy Mastermind.
[00:06:54] Same mastermind with incredible updates, and you're going to hear [00:07:00] about it in this podcast episode and on that live training. On October 9th, the doors and applications to that mastermind are opening. I have only opened this once a year and it is so powerful. It is a life changing container where you will release people pleasing, build rock solid self trust, and complete a main character energy project that will be life changing.
[00:07:24] And as you'll hear, Erica's main character energy project was to Release people pleasing to quit her job and to become a full time fucking writer, which you are going to hear about in this episode. I cannot wait. Go to the description of this episode to get your butt reserved for this live training and learn more about the mastermind to prepare yourself to see if this invitation is for you.
[00:07:45] This episode, whether you decide to join us in the live training or not, this episode is going to leave you feeling inspired. And you're also going to walk away with so many tangible next steps to embrace your main character energy, to stop shitting all over yourself, and to [00:08:00] really step into the next season of your life that is braver, bolder, and full of Hey,
[00:08:17] I'm Lily Womble, former top matchmaker and founder of Date Brazen. After setting up hundreds, I realized that with coaching, women could match themselves better than anyone else ever could. With my unconventional feminist approach, I've helped women around the world build courageous and self trust filled love lives.
[00:08:32] And now I'm here to support you. Get ready because I'm about to show the exact steps you need to attract a soul quenching partnership and feel amazing about yourself along the way. This. This is the date brazen podcast. Today is going to be so juicy, because if you have been feeling like you want to make changes in your life, but you don't exactly know what they are, but you do know what they are, but you're nervous to say what they are, and you're nervous that there's something bubbling under the surface that you want to [00:09:00] change about your life, but you're not sure like what you need to do, this episode is going to be massively inspiring to you in your love life, in your, Uh, work life in your interpersonal life and your creative life in all of the lives.
[00:09:13] And that's because today we have one of the most incredible humans, my client, Erica from main character energy mastermind. And her story is incredible and I can't wait to get into it. So hello, Erica. Hello,
[00:09:27] Erica: Lily. It is so good to see you again.
[00:09:30] Lily: So good
[00:09:31] Erica: to see you. I miss your face. I miss your face. I miss saying hello, my gorgeous
[00:09:36] Lily: friend to you.
[00:09:38] Oh God. Well, we're here. We're doing it now. And tell me about like, what feels important for people to know about you.
[00:09:46] Erica: I am 38 years old. I have Been a writer all of my life. I am a professional author. I'm a traditionally published author. Um, and this past year has just felt [00:10:00] like an awakening. Like it just felt like such a, such a like rebirth.
[00:10:04] So I'm so excited to talk to you about this today.
[00:10:09] Lily: Oh my God. Okay. So take me back last summer ish, 2023 when we already knew each other.
[00:10:17] Erica: Yeah, I, I feel like I'm going to take you back even farther. I'm going to take you back to when I came across my TikTok for you page. Um, and it was, I mean, probably it was 2022.
[00:10:32] So like we were coming out of the dark ages of the pandemic and you were saying things on TikTok that I was like, Never heard as far as dating advice was concerned where, like, you said things like, you know, you don't have to go on every single date because you're afraid of missing out on a possibility of a person.
[00:10:51] And I'm like, oh, my she's right. I don't. And that's exactly what I had been doing prior to the pandemic. And I felt like I was in [00:11:00] such a dating exhaustion where, like, I. Was accepting the bare minimum in relationships. I was accepting the bare minimum in situations ships. I was going on dates with I can remember getting ready for a date.
[00:11:17] So desperately not wanting to go. Cause I knew he wasn't, I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it. Oh, and yet I still went, I can remember going on a date with a guy where he kissed me at the end of the date. And I got in the car and I called my friend and I was like, I don't like him. I did not enjoy kissing him.
[00:11:36] And she's just pause. And she's like, you don't have to go out with him
[00:11:41] Lily: again. And I'm like, wow. But. You felt like trapped. It sounds like
[00:11:46] Erica: very trapped. Like it felt extremely like if I don't like what, what's going to happen to me. And I feel like that's such a, such a way that women are conditioned. Um, [00:12:00] definitely how I was conditioned.
[00:12:01] I will speak for myself. I think when the pandemic hit, it was this perfect way for me to be like, that's it. Taking a break. Yeah, when you came across my tick tock page. It caught my attention where I just felt like it was such a change the, you know, pre pandemic dating for me and I was ready for it. So I started listening to your podcast and I loved it.
[00:12:27] I would drive to work every morning. I'd be like, super jazzed about it. And I would tell my coworkers. I told my married coworkers to listen to you. I'm like, no, it doesn't matter that you're married. You have to listen to her anyway. Oh, my God. And so then I decided to sign up for Day Brazen.
[00:12:41] Lily: Brazen Breakthrough, yeah.
[00:12:42] Erica: And that was fantastic, but there was still like something that wasn't jiving for me. And I couldn't figure out what it was because like What do you mean? What do you mean not jiving? Tell me more. It wasn't, it wasn't. It wasn't jiving. The brazen breakthrough, it was like [00:13:00] before I could even think about dating or trying to repair my relationship with dating, it was like, there's something that's keeping me in a rut.
[00:13:12] And I don't know what it is. And I really had to figure it out. So when main character energy, I think you and I had a one on one session. Yeah. And so we talked about it and you were like, I think you need to be on main character and that's what you need to do. And so I, I took the plunge, um, which was the most money I've ever spent on myself.
[00:13:34] And it was scary, truthfully, very scary, but I'm very happy that I did.
[00:13:41] Lily: Yeah. Okay. So take me to the, like, how did you make that decision to do this? Do the mastermind if it felt like, Oh my God, so scary to spend that money. And what resonated about it to the point at which it felt aligned to join us?
[00:13:59] Erica: I feel like [00:14:00] it was a combination of knowing that I had a book coming out.
[00:14:06] That was certainly a part of it. And that this book felt so, this is my third traditionally published novel. And this one felt different because Like it was just coming from this place of joy in the pandemic and it was just such a happy book. I was happy writing it. And it was the first time I had really, um, owned the fact that I wanted to write a romance novel, you know, like my first two books had romance in them, um, but I think they would have been categorized.
[00:14:43] I think they are categorized as young adult fiction, kind of like contemporary fiction. Um, and this one was like, I wanted to write a book in the vein of my hero and goddess Jane Austen, and I did. And so, like, I [00:15:00] felt like it felt different from the start, like, from drafting it, from revising it. From the way my agent pitched it from the way it was bought from the support that I was getting from publishing house, it just felt different.
[00:15:16] And so I'm like, if this book is different than like, I need to be different and I'm, I need to go about it in a different way. Wow. And, and recognizing that I was in a job, like at the time I was teaching, I was a middle school teacher, which is something that I have enjoyed for most of my life. It was holding me back.
[00:15:38] In so many ways, and I, I knew that I couldn't continue it anymore. And I knew that I needed the support because for 15 years, 15 years, I've been a teacher and that was a huge shift for me to not be.
[00:15:54] Lily: How does it, how does it feel to say I was a middle school teacher?
[00:15:59] Erica: It feels [00:16:00] good. A little sad. It is sad.
[00:16:04] You can like, tear up. But like, you, you can't go into teaching without loving it. That's true. That's something that I miss.
[00:16:17] Um, yeah.
[00:16:18] Erica: But at the same time, It has become this profession. And I think we, we hear that so often now with so many teachers. Um, that's really unsustainable and a lot of ways. And I couldn't let it control me like that anymore.
[00:16:32] You know? Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I'd come home from work at the end of the day and just be so. Overstimulated and, and tired from the consistent decision, make small decisions. Like here's your pencil. Where is this? Why don't you go to your locker for this? But now I have another training that I have to do.
[00:16:53] And it's just, it was too much. And I would come home and I would want to write. I would want to do things [00:17:00] for my book. But I didn't have it. I didn't have any energy left. And then additionally, just feeling like I couldn't show up for my book in the most authentic way, because, you know, teachers aren't supposed to have social media, I, you know, like, and, and I did, and I, I made sure that my school district knew that I had social media for writing, but there were, I was very hesitant about like what I would post on social media.
[00:17:32] Would this be construed the wrong way? Like I, it was just. So constraining
[00:17:37] Lily: we have a talk you and me. We have a one on one session and we're like coaching and we're talking about main character energy mastermind as well. And I'm curious about you say I wanted to be a different person. Who was that? What was the vision?
[00:17:52] And then for this different version of you who shows up for your book and how the way you want to do it, the expansive way that you [00:18:00] desire to, and then did that feel attainable or impossible or a mixture of both?
[00:18:05] Erica: It felt, it felt attainable if I chose it. And it
[00:18:11] Lily: was kind of the first time. But then why didn't you just choose it?
[00:18:16] Let's, I just want to unpack like what felt. Like distant about choosing it or attaining it.
[00:18:25] Erica: I think it was a matter of having in my head, like the, this is what you should do. Life.
[00:18:32] Lily: Yeah. Like
[00:18:33] Erica: I went to a four year college. I got a teaching degree. Now I get to go teach and then I'm supposed to get married and I'm supposed to have two and a half children.
[00:18:40] And I, those were all these sheds that I had in my head and I had followed the sheds. For a really long time, but like, it occurred to me and listening to your podcast and talking to you, but like, none of those were the things that I wanted, like that, and I, I just hadn't [00:19:00] chosen that I hadn't chosen me and I wanted to, and like, all of a sudden it was like, here's an opportunity for me to figure out the way.
[00:19:09] To choose me.
[00:19:10] Lily: So let's get into when you stepped in the, in the doors when we had our onboard, I don't know. We had our like day long onboarding retreat, like kickoff retreat. And like, we started doing our weekly sessions. Like what was, what was this like for you to be in the.
[00:19:24] Erica: It was just really joyful.
[00:19:27] Like it was this moment for myself each week where I got to sit with people who were of the same mindset on like different. Different different stages of their journey, but still we were all kind of on the same journey together. And it was the camaraderie was just something that. I wasn't anticipating, like, I don't think I could have imagined that, you know, the, the friendships that were made, or just listening to people and being like, yeah, like, that really resonates [00:20:00] with me too.
[00:20:02] Lily: Yeah, what is there a lesson in particular that, you know, for keeping our eye on the desired vision or the why for joining is like you, what was the why for joining? If you could distill it to a sentence. Why for
[00:20:16] Erica: joining, I think. Goes right back to this, me saying, choosing myself, you know, like, yeah, being, I felt like very much the secondary character in my life.
[00:20:25] I'm like, it's my, it's mine. I shouldn't I? I'm literally an author and I wasn't being a main character. So like, what
[00:20:35] Lily: lesson or what helped you become the main character?
[00:20:40] Erica: I, I don't know necessarily if I can narrow it down to one specific lesson so much that it was the building of the lessons, even even sitting there.
[00:20:54] If I, if I think about, like, I, I started this whole journey thinking that like, oh, it's my relationship with [00:21:00] dating and that needs to be healed and I'm still in the process of doing that. You know, that's still, I'm still working with your lessons and still using the journal and the videos, but. Overall, it was like, before I can approach that I need to approach my relationship with myself, my relationship with what I actually want
[00:21:22] in my
[00:21:23] Erica: life as a whole, like, not just as far as men are concerned.
[00:21:27] So I think it was a matter of looking at some of the lessons, realizing where some of my mindsets Came from and working on how to heal them. Like, I think, I think self compassion is 1 of the things that you, you really drive home and that I had no self compassion. I had none and it's still, I something happened the other day and I can't remember what it was now.
[00:21:56] And I pause because I was letting myself get upset about it. I was like, no, no, no. [00:22:00] We need to talk about self compassion right now. Yeah. And I was like, no, no. What would self compassion shit say about this? So, yeah. How has that tactically changed things? So often when something happens, whether it's, it's maybe it's an argument with someone, or it's something that happened at work and you feel Upset about I was a person that would allow myself to spiral, you know, and really get lost in my thoughts and I hear your voice.
[00:22:32] Every time a thought is not a feeling. That's not a fact. Yeah, that's not a fact. Exactly. Yeah. I, I oftentimes really re examine like, okay, what's what's actually at the root. Of how I'm feeling right now of what I'm right now, um, and just taking that moment to pause is transformational.
[00:22:53] Lily: Okay. So take me through.
[00:22:54] You come in the mastermind. You're, you're still, you know, middle school teaching. I [00:23:00] remember and you're, you're getting your 3rd book out the door. What? Tell me the timeline of like your book and the, you know, sort of like, yeah, was your book manuscript done?
[00:23:10] Erica: It was done. It was in revisions with my editor.
[00:23:13] So we were in the process of polishing it up and getting it ready
[00:23:17] Lily: to sell or to get published. I don't know with fiction what the timeline is.
[00:23:23] Erica: So it was already sold. It was I had written it on. To my editor and she was just working on the revision. So like the first you do, you know, your revisions and that those are the big idea revisions and then you get smaller and smaller until you get to like copy edits.
[00:23:37] Um, so we were still in revisions and I was waiting to get my revisions, uh, back from her and I had gotten my cover, my beautiful cover that I love so much. Um, and it was just starting to feel real for me, but when. I started main character in my head. I was still like, okay, I can quit teaching, [00:24:00] but I have to get another full time job.
[00:24:01] Like I have to get some addition to writing. And for, I'm going to say the first three months of main character energy mastermind, I was applying for jobs. I was applying for other full time jobs with benefits and retirement plans. And every time I applied for a job. It occurred to me that I didn't want to do that job.
[00:24:29] Lily: And I'm like, yes, like the date. Do you like, Oh my God, the date, the date is the like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be dressing up for this. I don't want to, I don't want to kiss them. I don't want to do it. It's like, ah, don't make me, don't make me. And then you're like getting in the car to go to the date.
[00:24:46] Totally. Yeah. Totally hear you.
[00:24:48] Erica: And then finally, I, I heard back from a job that I I know I was well qualified for, but I didn't want to do and they had passed on me and I didn't care. [00:25:00] I was like, good. Good.
[00:25:01] Lily: Yeah,
[00:25:02] Erica: the fact that I don't care and then, like, it just kind of, like, slowly dawned on me that I had my agent saying to me, like, I need you to show up for this book in ways that you haven't with the 1st 2.
[00:25:15] and I was like, okay, I will. I will. And. Of course I wanted to, and then it occurred to me, I'm like, I, I think I have to dedicate myself to like, going up for this book, showing up for me, showing up for the job that I've wanted since I was little, like, what, what was stopping me? And like, I had literally taken the steps.
[00:25:39] I think I had told you this, I had sold my house so that I had at least a little cushion to do this. And like I had done the difficult part, like, I mean, selling your house, I literally moved everything. I sold my house and I still was so scared.
[00:25:57] Lily: Ooh, this is so good. And do I [00:26:00] sense tears? Are you, how are you feeling right now?
[00:26:02] What are you thinking? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Of course. I want to just point out this really powerful thing that I'm seeing, which is like, Selling your house and creating a financial cushion didn't create the belief that you were allowed to do what you wanted to do.
[00:26:24] Erica: No.
[00:26:25] Lily: Right. Like, and, and so often in life change moments, and this is why I love fucking love coaching.
[00:26:31] That's why I have several coaches, like a therapist and a coach. Like, I love it because there are so many action steps you could take, right? You could. You know, sell your house and have a cushion. You could quit your job. Everything on paper could be perfect for you to take the leap into what you really want to do.
[00:26:49] But if we're not addressing the, the, like, beliefs under the surface about what you get to have in this life, that you get to center what you want, [00:27:00] that you get to take up more space, that you get to want what you want. If we're not working on untangling the narratives that have kept you playing small up until now, um, Then, then creating the financial cushion will not create the result.
[00:27:12] It's your beliefs about yourself and the support that you're giving yourself fundamentally, that creates the result that you want. What, how does that resonate with you?
[00:27:23] Erica: It absolutely resonates with me because it would also make sense because when that dawned on me midway through main character energy, I just remember it.
[00:27:34] It was so overwhelming, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I was like, the idea of like quitting my job, my regular salary job and not getting another one and just taking an attempt at writing full time. And I could not get it out of my head. I was talking about it with my therapist. And after talking about it with her, she was, I knew that first of all, I was [00:28:00] living with my father.
[00:28:01] And I felt like I needed to run it by him first, like, like I, you have taken me in cause I sold my house and I told you that I wanted to make changes. And he's a very generous man, but like how generous. So my therapist was like, I think you need to talk to him. I'm like, I do. So I, I did. And he was like, yeah, I think you should do that.
[00:28:23] And I'm like,
[00:28:26] Lily: so nervous asking him, I like asking him, like, what do you think about me quitting my job?
[00:28:31] Erica: Not really asking his permission, like telling him that this is what I wanted to do and hoping that I had his support would be and you know, that's a cushion. It's certainly a cushion. I have a mortgage or a rent.
[00:28:44] Yeah, I was terrified to ask him and he's not really a terrifying man. Like, he's not right. But I was like, no, I'll, I'll ask him after Christmas. Like things are just too busy. I don't. And then finally, one night I'm sitting there and I was just so like, I had that pent up energy and I'm like, dad, I [00:29:00] have to.
[00:29:00] Lily: Okay. So I remember you in sessions of the mastermind. Getting coaching about quitting your job and not having another full time job. I remember it vividly that I would love to hear from you about what you remember about that time, but like a lot of fear of failure, a lot of fear of like being destitute, you know, like, of course, of course you have that fear, right?
[00:29:23] Of course this is new and, and scary. And as a business owner myself, when somebody Desires this sort of life where they are building it on their own terms and they're doing their own thing. And like, they're not at a nine to five. I'm like, okay, let's, here's how to do it. Let's go. Let's like, here's how to, so what, what do you remember from that time?
[00:29:43] And what sticks out to you in that?
[00:29:46] Erica: Just really being terrified because there's, there's definitely a stability in waking up every morning at five o'clock and getting ready and packing my lunch
[00:29:56] Lily: Five o'clock. Yes.
[00:29:57] Erica: Five o'clock. In New Jersey traffic. [00:30:00] I, I think what really helped me through that is recognizing that this is a chance that I can take.
[00:30:08] And if for some reason it doesn't work, it's not permanent. It doesn't mean that I have to live, you know, in a box on the side of the road there. I have. Multiple degrees. I have a lot of experience. There are jobs. I will. I will land on my feet and that if I, if I kept applying for other jobs, I would constantly be haunted by the, the what if question, like, what if I had just done it?
[00:30:38] What if I had done it and I had made
[00:30:40] it?
[00:30:43] Erica: I knew that it was, All kind of coming together in the right way. Right. So like, you know, you get that combination of like luck. Certainly parts of it are luck and parts of it are talent and parts of it are hard work. And like, you have to show up for it when it appears.[00:31:00]
[00:31:00] I just think I'm, I'm, I'm just hearing so much self trust. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. What comes up when I say that I had no self trust prior to main character energy, it was like, I just didn't, I, I truly was, was very afraid of breaking out, like I said before, like breaking out of the things that I, I was told I should do, you know, and it was not
[00:31:25] Lily: fulfilling.
[00:31:28] What is it like now to have self, what does self trust mean to you now?
[00:31:33] Erica: Self trust is just a matter of. Knowing what I want and understanding that, like, it, it doesn't what you want doesn't just like appear one day because you wish for it hard enough. You know, it's about really taking into consideration the, the work that I put in the talent that I know that I have the, the want [00:32:00] and just going after.
[00:32:02] It, you know, like it's, and it is scary, but also understanding, like being a better communicator with friends and family and telling them like, this is, this is what I want. I actually quoted you the other day. Like you need to ask for what you want and you'll be more likely to get it. I said, it's my friends.
[00:32:19] I'm like, if you ask for it, there's a better chance of you getting it. And I do that all the time now. Like, I feel like that's something I didn't want to offend anyone, or I didn't want to be inconvenient to anyone. Most of the time you're not.
[00:32:34] Lily: How did you heal that? Like, what do you think helped you most heal that piece?
[00:32:39] The like people pleasing, I mean, not that it goes away. It's like always evolving, but, um, what helped you? Sort of take the next step in ditching people pleasing for self trust. I think
[00:32:52] Erica: it just general frustration of like, not have not having my needs [00:33:00] recognized or or considered whether that was in any kind of interpersonal relationship.
[00:33:06] Um, and I don't even mean romantic. I mean, like your relationship with your family or your friends, your coworkers and, and professionally, you know, that was a huge part of, of leaving teaching to where I just felt like my needs aren't being met here and I'm not sure that they ever will be. And so I need to step away.
[00:33:26] You know, and I, I was, I think I just came to the conclusion through main character that there's a life out there that I can build and that I can create. I can, it can be mine and I, I don't need to sit there and make other people happy in order for it to exist.
[00:33:47] Lily: I'm so proud of you. Thank you. What are you proudest of for yourself right now?
[00:33:53] Erica: I'm just proudest of like seeing myself or witnessing [00:34:00] myself do things that last year I probably wouldn't have. Like yesterday I, I went on a whale watch by myself yesterday and I am not, I, that's not true. I was not the kind of person that would have even gone and gotten a coffee. By myself prior to this, but I Wow.
[00:34:18] Up here on Cape Cod and I spend a lot of time on Cape Cod and I'm not with anyone. I, I am with people, but no one that wanted to go on a whale watch, no one that was physically capable of going on a whale watch. So I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna go and I'll see you later, . And I did. And it was so great.
[00:34:37] It was just, it was beautiful and I enjoyed myself. So that was definitely something that, that last year me would not have done.
[00:34:46] Lily: Well, I'm just hearing that the self trust changes everything.
[00:34:50] Erica: It does.
[00:34:50] Lily: Even the simple is going on the whale watch, which is not very, it's not simple, you know, I think, especially as women who are socialized to people, please, [00:35:00] or to be partnered in order to be worthy of doing things that bring you pleasure and joy that it makes me kind of want to cry too.
[00:35:07] It's like. It's so fucking cool that you have integrated the skill and tool of self trust into your life and you've like sort of sewn it into a foundation so that you can get what you want. And it's, it wasn't about like people pleasing your way into what you wanted, or it was about trusting yourself into what you wanted.
[00:35:32] It was about
[00:35:32] Erica: saying, fuck it and making myself
[00:35:35] Lily: happy. And now just like, look at you, like you have, when is your book coming out? It comes out August 6th. What a perfect
[00:35:47] Erica: date. I know. And what's the title of the book? It's called Witty in Pink. And huge, very pink cover. I don't have my galleys yet. We're close, but not yet.
[00:35:57] Okay. But yeah, it comes out August 6th, [00:36:00] uh, through entangled and I'm so excited about it.
[00:36:03] Lily: What are you able to do now for your book? Like, what are you excited to, how are you showing up for your book?
[00:36:08] Erica: I'm, I actually, um, started taking a course about like marketing on social media, which was something that I pushed to the back.
[00:36:17] Like that something I wanted to deal with was marketing media. Um, so I have been, it's vulnerable, baby, it's actually fun if you go about it the right way, you know, it doesn't have to be, that's what I'm learning. So I started taking that and I'm, I'm making like a calendar and I'm getting all these ideas of like different ways to promote myself and to promote my book on, on Instagram and Tik
[00:36:46] Lily: TOK.
[00:36:46] You're on the edge of something. New, and I'm really excited for you. I just see this is this is even like an incredible arrival this moment and then like I just hear you, you're going to have [00:37:00] more time to devote to what you want to do. And by the way, it gets to be your full time job. This writing thing you've already proven that you can do that.
[00:37:10] Erica: Yeah.
[00:37:10] Lily: You've already, you've already proven that you can do that. Right. So
[00:37:13] Erica: I could do that.
[00:37:16] Lily: I'm so excited for you, Erica. And it's been my honor to be your coach and, and truly I've been inspired by your journey and everybody's journey in the mastermind. I'm having these conversations with them. with clients on the podcast from your cohort.
[00:37:30] And it was just like, such a magical, every cohort is magical in their own way. And I just like, I'm so grateful to have had you in that. You got to allow you gave yourself permission to take up more space.
[00:37:42] Erica: Absolutely. And I couldn't have done it without you. I'm so grateful for you. You are an incredible leader, Lily.
[00:37:49] Lily: Thank you. I received that. Tell me, what would you say to somebody who's considering joining who might be on the fence about joining the mastermind?
[00:37:59] Erica: Do it [00:38:00] just again, I think I mentioned before that it was the most money I had ever invested in myself. And I think saying that out loud, that's also part of the problem.
[00:38:10] You know, like, having been told. My whole life, like, that's a lot of money, you know, it's selfish to spend that kind of it's indulgent. Like, what is indulgent? Like, yes, I indulge myself. I, I invested in myself and like the returns are amazing. I feel them every day. Like I feel them every day.
[00:38:29] Lily: Not to put words on your mouth, but I think you're going to make more money because of them.
[00:38:34] Yeah. I,
[00:38:35] Erica: Lily,
[00:38:35] Lily: I think you're going to make more. Wait, stop. Wait, what did you just say? Tell me more.
[00:38:40] Erica: You already have since when. Has sold to, to multiple countries. Like I can tell you that it's to France and Germany. There's others, but I can't mention it yet because it hasn't been announced. But, um, I mean, like,
[00:38:53] Lily: just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
[00:38:55] We're saving this till the end. I know how I'm what? So [00:39:00] wait, you're telling me that giving yourself permission to what would you want? And learning the skill of self trust and taking massive messy courageous action has actually made you more money
[00:39:10] Erica: than I invested in the program. Yes, it
[00:39:14] Lily: did.
[00:39:18] What do you attribute the, was it the, like showing up for the book differently that allowed it to produce dividends or what, what, what's that? No, like I
[00:39:28] Erica: said, like it was. It was a start when I was even writing this book that I knew it was different. And that I knew you created that. Yeah. On this cusp of, of just owning what it is that I wanted to write.
[00:39:39] Cause I think so often women, uh, people are told in general that romance is like, uh, that's for like, that's silly. That's not serious literature. And I actually really
[00:39:49] Lily: lucrative. Yeah.
[00:39:50] Erica: The best selling genre. Of book. So, I mean, I think it's okay. And I, I just, I owned it. I'm like, oh, this is the book I want to [00:40:00] write.
[00:40:00] It's a romance. Yeah. I love that. One of the ways that I knew that this was all working was that I was on the phone with my agent and she's, she's very blunt. Like she will tell you exactly how it is. And she was like, I see you showing up differently. She's like, everything is different about this. And I'm so proud of you.
[00:40:22] And I was like, okay. It's being felt
[00:40:24] Lily: in
[00:40:25] Erica: It was being felt by my agent.
[00:40:28] Lily: Oh my god. Thank you. More please to that. That gave me a chill down my body. I
[00:40:33] Erica: know! And I'm like, I It must be true because, you know, your agent, she's not with me all the time. She's in Manhattan. It's like, there's such a difference. She goes, I see you showing up and I was just like,
[00:40:47] Lily: I'm so, I mean, it doesn't surprise me, but it does make me really, really, really happy that you are showing up differently for the thing
[00:40:57] Erica: that you want to do in this life.
[00:40:59] If [00:41:00] my intention is for this to be a success, it's not just going to like, Appear like I have to I have to start showing up for it. And that's something that I've been doing. And I'm, I'm really happy about it.
[00:41:12] Lily: You did just to give you all the credit. You did show up for it by selling your house by, you know, like, doing what you needed to do to create a cushion for yourself to be a full time author.
[00:41:25] And you saw also the gap that there was there was a gap. Right of like a skills gap, a mindset gap between the you that wanted to do the thing you wanted to do and the you that was where you were and you filled that gap with what you needed, which is an exit, which is a main character energy as well.
[00:41:43] Absolutely. Thank you. More please to that.
[00:41:46] Erica: Thank you. Please.
[00:41:47] Lily: I'm so excited for you. This is just the beginning.
[00:41:51] Erica: Thank you, Lily. I'm excited to know
[00:41:53] Lily: you can check out the info on main character energy mastermind in the description of this episode. Go check out witty and pink. I'm [00:42:00] so excited for you, Erica.
[00:42:01] And thank you so much for allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to come into this coven of cheerleaders. That is main character energy mastermind.
[00:42:12] Erica: Thank you so much for creating this space. Lily. So,
[00:42:16] Lily: well, I'm, I'm, it's a love, a love fest. I'm really crying. Um, no, but I, I, I say this every time I open the mastermind and last year, I actually didn't think I would reopen it.
[00:42:29] I remember saying, like, I'm not going to do this again because I was writing my book. I was launching a mastermind. It felt like, oh, my God. I, I don't know how to do all of this at once. I can't, I can't do this again. But then after this cohort, I was like, no, this is undeniable. We have to do this again.
[00:42:48] Yeah. Even though I said we weren't, which was true at the time. We are figuring it out because the results just speak for themselves. And, um, I, you know, this program was [00:43:00] started with self trust on my part and continues that intention continues to be felt in the results. And I'm so jazzed and like, excited for you.
[00:43:09] And you're now one of like, I mean, It's just so many themes have come up around making more money since the mastermind, several members have like owning what you want, asking for more at work or quitting jobs that were soul sucking. Like you are in this like legacy of badass main characters who are getting and asking for what they want.
[00:43:29] So thank you more, please
[00:43:32] Erica: represent. Thank you more.
[00:43:35] Lily: All right. Y'all check out that info about main character energy mastermind, go order Erica's book, and I will talk to you soon. [00:44:00] Bye.